Her tears were very real. For the first time in their relationship, she hid nothing from him. She felt as scared as she ever had. What was happening to her? What made her feel such rage at times, and such seductive power at others?
As she let go, letting him hold her, letting herself weep, she saw a vision:
Two women
Both stunningly beautiful
One reflected the sunlight so that the color of her skin was one with the sun, so much so that her light was dazzling and blinding.
The other radiated light from within her. She glowed, but not so much that the light forced you to focus on her.
The difference was obvious and subtle. The blindingly beautiful woman seemed so sweet that her presence intoxicated everyone around her that wanted to be intoxicated, but they felt this to an extent that was overpowering.
The glowing woman was also intoxicating, but like the first sip of an old wine. Relaxing but leaving the mind clear and the will free.
"Choose the woman you want to be. Mine or yours."
"I choose Yours."
The vision ends.
Teinya reflected for quite some time on the vision, still in Manuel's arms. Her heart was filled with peace and joy, her mind at and focused, and her will submitted to God alone.
She finally spoke, “Manuel, I’ve always defined myself by my beauty and sweetness, my kindness and my intelligence. But I noticed that people never connected these to God when they were with me. They praised me, but never him. It used to be like that with you. At first no one could resist your charisma. But when you became one with God, all of that changed. You were still as charismatic as ever, but I couldn’t think of you without thinking about God. I admired and hated this. I hated it because God was my rival. Of course, I never came out and challenged God for wanting a supreme place in your life. But I felt deep animosity towards you, or for God in you. As you held me, God just showed me who I imagined myself to be, and who He made me to be.
I’m sorry I’ve been so prideful, wanting you to live for me alone instead of living totally for God.
To answer your question, if I were to die tonight, I would have thought that my inner beauty was enough for me to enter heaven. I would have thought I was a really good and genuinely beautiful person. Now I think differently. I remember you telling me the truth about who we are in God’s eyes. How Jesus came so that we would be reborn as God's children. I’ve gone to church all my life, but I’ve never wanted God alone. Now I do.”
Manuel knew without doubt that this was real, and that he was looking into the eyes of the mother of his children.
"I love you Teinya. But I love God more than you or anyone else. If you feel the same, I want us to live the rest of our lives intimately connected to God, and to each other."
"I feel the same. I love you too."
She took his hands and prayed,
"God, thank you for being so patient with me, and showing me the truth about myself. You are my Creator, and I am your creature. I’ve ignored you all of my life, worshipping myself, Manuel, and the approval of people. I’m sincerely sorry and I have no excuse. Jesus died for me. Jesus rose for me. I accept who He is and what He did for me. I no longer live for me, but for you. And I welcome your Spirit to live in me and through me."
Manuel saw a change in her eyes and heard a change in her voice. None of the sweetness was gone. Now, it just seemed…bearable. That’s the best way he could describe it. He didn’t feel overwhelmed by her face or words or personality. He felt free to enjoy her and focus on her, or free to look away. More than anything, when he admired the wonder of who she was, he felt overwhelmed with praise to God, as if she were a living work of art.
He could no longer think of her without thinking about God.
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