What MEN really WANT from WOMEN (Part 3)

We've seen daughters look at their fathers with awe.  We've seen the same with little sisters and big brothers.  And we've seen women who are deeply in love.  This admiration is what men want from women, as it is written:

This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:32-33

Remember earlier about creation and Creator?  Man and woman, husband and wife are their picture!  Here, the husband and wife are encouraged to see the mystery; and the wife is encouraged to respect her husband as the church should respect Christ.  The word "respect" expresses deep awe, reverence, and admiration.

"But what if I don't genuinely admire my husband," says a discouraged woman?

At work, I overheard a woman saying something like this,

"I told him that if we are going to be in a relationship, he better not cheat on me, and he better not hit me!"

She said it like some women do when they are trying to show that they "don't take no mess from no man!"  I thought about this.  Why would a woman NEED to tell a man not to cheat on her or hit her?  What woman wants to be with a man where this is not a GIVEN?  How often does she have to "remind" him of this? In other words, if she did NOT tell him this, does she believe that he WOULD cheat on her and hit her?  

How could she admire a man that she has to tell this?

So, for the woman who feels like she no longer admires her husband, I say this:
Remember who he represents, and admire him for that.  We do this all the time (or we should.)  There are officers or those in authority that we don't genuinely respect, but we respect their position enough to at least be courteous to them.  The same is true in this situation.  If you love and admire Christ, then for His sake, respect your husband as a representative of Christ.  Furthermore, there must be SOMETHING you admire about your husband, even if it's just the MEMORY of admirability!  You wouldn't have EVER gotten with him if you didn't admire him in the beginning.  Whatever he was then, somewhere inside, he is that now.

For those women who are not yet married, who are engaged or are looking for a man to marry, know that your fiancee, or your yet unknown future husband, wants you as a best friend with whom he can be free, and that he wants you to admire him.  The beautiful thing is, as of now, you have a choice of who you are going to be with.  So choose wisely according to these three things.

Find someone whom you feel you can be best friends for life, someone with whom you are free to be, and whom you admire physically, soulically, and spiritually.  Admire the strength and beauty of his body, the depth of his mind, the strength of his will, the passion of his emotions. Admire his faith and love and obedience to God.  Admire his God given purpose and presence.

As a man, be a best friend and companion.  In your eyes let this woman see the father of her children.  Let her see your vulnerability, and in this let her feel free.  Live such an admirable life that the awe in her eyes never ceases when she looks at you and thinks about you.

Men and women are a reflection of the love story between Creator and creation. 
Don't listen to Oprah or Cosmopolitan.  
Don't listen to men and women who don't listen to the Creator of all creation.

What men really want from women is what the Creator wants from all of creation.  
Let us be what God made us to be, now and for all eternity, for God's honor and glory.
Amen.
 

What MEN really WANT from WOMEN (Part 1)

Cosmopolitan fails to really know men.
Oprah Winfrey fails to really understand men.
Women fail to really comprehend men.

Who can know men better than their one Creator and Maker?  Who can know men better than men who listen to God?  Who can know men better than women who listen to God and mature men?  Therefore it is wise to listen to God, The Origin of men, not Cosmopolitan, not Oprah, not women.

Men want three things from women:
1.  A Complimentary Companion (A best friend)
2.  Vulnerability (To be free to just be)
3.  Admiration (the look in their eyes when women are in love with men)

This is true of every man and all men, because of their purpose in God's creation: to be God's image and likeness and reflection, to be exactly like His Son.  God made men like Him in sharing God's desire for His own creation.  God desires the three things that men desire, and thus He made man like Himself.  Notice I use the word "desire" instead of need in relation to God, who has no need.  Men need these things from women, and women have their own complimentary needs from men, both being members of creation.  But God is needless, Self existent and Self sufficient.  Men and women are neither, and thus they need each other.  So in men we see a reflection of God's relation to creation.  Listen to God's very own perspective concerning men:

 The Lord God said, 

“It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Genesis 2:18

These are God's words, not the man's, nor the woman's, for she is not yet a member of creation.  Among the animals, the man is alone, which shows us the man is not an animal.  And with God alone man is still alone, according to God Himself.  The man isn't on God's level; he is not God's equal.  Man is like God, but God is not like man. So in all of creation man has no companion...until God in his goodness made the woman!

The man needed someone to be with and share his all of his life with, a friend like no other, not a mother, a sister, or a brother.  He needed someone like him, though not exactly like him, someone who complimented him and who was an equal to him.  He needed this physically, soulically, and spiritually, as we will see when we explore vulnerability.  

(Click here to continue with me.)

What MEN really WANT from WOMEN (Part 2)

Men want three things from women:
1. Companionship
2. Vulnerability
3.  Admiration.

All men, and every man, wants these three things from the women in their lives, especially their wives or fiancees.  Companionship is complimentary to vulnerability, as we will see.

 "The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame."

Genesis 2:25

Men want the beauty of the liberty found in intimacy, summed up in the one word:

Vulnerability.

The joy of simply being free to just be!

Physically, this means affection.  It means he can touch and caress and hold his wife without limitations or frustrations.  This involves sex with his wife, but is much deeper.  It means he does not have to hide his attraction or need of her affection.  Teasing is for the immature, because they make sex a game, a means of manipulation or domination.  This is not the desire of the mature man nor woman.  He is free to desire her body, and her body only.

Soulically, he is free to be.  He may share his thoughts, emotions, and passions with her without fear of rejection or negation.  Yes, men want this!  The world lies and make men seem to want one thing.  They do want that one thing, but not ONLY that one thing, nor do they want that one thing for a shallow reason.  (I speak of good men! Men of God!)  

Spiritually, the man wants a woman who is one with the very purpose and presence of God!  He wants to share the deepest things in his spirit, for them to experience the heaven on earth of union with God!  He wants to experience the ultimate with her, to share his deepest longings and desires and dreams and visions that are God given.  He wants to know hers as well!  

Men want to give their spirit, soul, and body freely to one woman only!

They want to have the spirit, soul, and body of one woman only!

They want her to be naked and not ashamed, not afraid, not self-conscious, no wall between them.  He wants this because she WANTS to give this.  She wants to give this to her man because of admiration!  (Click here for the conclusion.)

How much attention should a woman get? (Part 3)

The third category of women is the discriminate woman, the one whose "vibes" are very specific and focused.  If she is married, she is giving off a very intensely specific transmission to ONE KIND OF MAN.  So only that kind of man would pick up on it.  Think of vibrations like radio station transmissions.  The adulterous woman is like both an Am and FM station.  She wants ALL ears, EVERY channel.  The indiscriminate woman may be an AM dial, or a FM dial. She is very general, and may or may not be an adulteress.  But the discriminate vibe is ONE channel ONLY.  

If this woman is unmarried and wants to be married, then her vibe will be transmitted ONLY to men who want to be married.  If she is an unmarried Christian who wants to be married, then it will ONLY be to Christian men who want to be married.  If she is a very mature Christian, it will ONLY be to MATURE Christian men who want to be married.  These women generally go unnoticed because they ONLY want to be noticed by a specific man.  The married woman also saves her transmissions for only her husband.  Her dedication to God and her husband gives her discretion in all of her relations.  She neither craves, desires, or strives for general attention.

Now we come to how all three types of women lead us to the answer to our question.

1. The adulterous woman in category one wants EVERY man's attention.  She wants to be the center of his gaze in a way that only God should be; and she wants to captivate him in a way that only his wife should captivate him.  She transmits a general vibration to all men. 
2. The indiscriminate woman also transmits a general vibration, but perhaps with different intentions.  Either she simply intends to communicate availability (indiscriminately), or she is willing to have any and every man, married or unmarried.   
3. The discriminate woman gives one transmission:  to her present husband or future husband.

So, the answer to our question is this:  A woman should not get EVERY man's attention.  (Or every woman's attention for that matter.)  Only God should have every human's attention, and even He does not get it.  A woman should have the attention of her Creator as a member of creation, from creation as a fellow creation, and of her husband in complete singular devotion.  These scriptures perfectly sum up my thoughts:


Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. I Timothy 5:1-2

Here Paul gives Timothy a complete break down of all human relationships!  

Now it seems that I need to give a clarification.  When I asked about attention in relationship to women, I was really focused on the attention of sexual attraction.  Not just this attention, but ESPECIALLY this attention, because as I said, our culture primarily tempts women to seek the attention of physical sexual attraction, with a focus and emphasis on physical beauty.

So, when we look at Paul's words, we can easily see how to gauge how much attention to give and receive, whether we are men or women.  If you are woman, think of your father or brothers, older or younger.  If you have a good relationship with your father and brothers, this may be easier to imagine.  What kind of attention do you want from your father or brothers in relationship to your physical beauty?  I know the kind of attention you DO NOT WANT:  SEXUAL ATTRACTION! It is an abomination for a father to be sexually attracted to his daughter, and likewise a brother for his sister.  Now this gives us an exceedingly high standard in male and female relationships, telling what kind of attention and how much we should give and receive.  As a man, I should view all older women AS I WOULD MY MOTHER, unless my wife just so happens to be an older woman; then she would be the ONLY older woman for whom I should experience sexual attraction.  Every younger woman should be viewed as I view my very own little sister, WITH "ABSOLUTE PURITY" as Paul said.  As I think of my little sister, I know exactly what Paul means.  I remember my little sister in diapers, and a specific picture of her in diapers.  Now she is a grown woman; attractive; she even has a "nice body," (though it hurt my fingers to even type those words about her!)  She's my sister!  So I'm not sexually attracted to her and won't look at her like that, even though she has...a..."nice body."  (Allow me time to recover.....)

Alright. Do you see what I'm saying?  Only one man, a husband, should see a woman as sexually attractive, which means a woman should have vibration discrimination, very specific sexual transmission.  And likewise for a man with a woman.  

We choose our impressions.  We come across exactly as we intend to.  Think of it like this.  You see two women with skin tight shirts on.  One has the word "hottie" on the front of the shirt, conveniently over her bulging breasts.  The other has no word. Her shirt is fluorescent yellow though.  Now, what do you imagine is the emphasis of these two women?  How do you imagine they want to come across?

Now some may object and say, "Maybe they just liked the shirts."  Perhaps.  But why do they like those shirts?  "Maybe they like feeling 'comfy and cozy,' and tight shirts give them a sense of security, like an all day 'hug.'"  Maybe.  BUT I DOUBT IT!  AND SO DO YOU!

We make the impressions we want to make.  We control our impressions.  Maybe these two girls are just trying to "be in style."  If so, then that's how they come across...and the style just so happens to be "sexy" or "hottie."  (By the way, the one without "hottie" on her shirt may be communicating the very same thing, subtly.)

At any rate, BOTH are attracting more attention then they should get.  Would they dress like this on a date with their father or brothers?  Maybe.  And could a father say, "Wow sweetie, your breast are really sexy!?"  That sounds suspect now doesn't it?  Technically, he could acknowledge his daughter's beauty and sexuality, but we all know he shouldn't look at her to sexually DESIRE her, even if she is desirable.  The same with her brothers.  

Some will argue that God made the beauty of sexuality and it can be viewed artistically, like with naked bodies in art.  Maybe.  But I seriously doubt that I should look at naked artistic photos of my father, mother, and sisters.  Perhaps other men could look at them WITHOUT IMAGINING HAVING SEX WITH THEM.  And that is indeed my point:  Only one person should see you and me sexually--our wives or husbands.  God's view of sex is sacred and singular.  Yet we seek be sexy in general...to men and women in general...when marriage is not a general relationship.

In conclusion:

We are members of creation.  The first person that knew of our existence was God, who "knitted us together in" the secret place of our "mother's womb and created our inmost beings," as scripture says.  Think hard about this.  Before our father or mother knew we were conceived, before our mothers missed a period or took a pregnancy test, God knew our mothers were pregnant.  He saw us before anyone else did.  So the first person we should seek attention from is our Creator.

Next, we can seek the attention of older men as fathers, older women as mothers, younger men as brothers, and younger women as sisters in absolute purity.  Our husbands and wives ONLY should see us sexually.

If we want more attention than this, then we want what is not ours to have.

May we each receive AND BE SATISFIED WITH the attention God intends to give us.  

As a married man, do I need any other woman to find me sexually attractive?  Should I seek the attraction and attention of other women?  Of course not.  If my wife finds me desirable, then I am desirable indeed.  And if she fails to express desire for me, then I should go to God about this, AND STILL MAINTAIN FAITHFULNESS, "for better or for worse, for rich or for poor..."

May we no longer be greedy and needy.  May we seek only the attention God has given.

How much attention should a woman get? (Part 2)

Women who seek attention indiscriminately are more complicated.  The adulteress purposely seeks attention she should not receive, seeking more attention than she is due, the attention that only God and husbands should receive.  She is easy to know from afar and thus easier to resist.  But the woman in category two, as listed in my first article, may be expressing legitimate or illegitimate desires, and thus could be more dangerous.  This is how.

Let's say she is unmarried and wants to be married.  She may be simply "putting it out there" that she is "available."  Now she is not giving off a specific vibe to a specific man or even a specific kind of man.  Some may call her "desperate," but I don't like the negative connotation of that word.  She just wants to be in a relationship very badly, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that....unless she doesn't care whether the man is married or not.  Then she would move from category two to category one.  I've personally experienced this.  Two women have approached me as a married man.  One expressed attraction, and after I told her I was married she said, "Well, if you don't mind she doesn't matter!"  Adulteress!  Evil!  She wasn't wrong for finding me attractive, but for dishonoring my wife.  The second woman, after finding out I am married, said, "How married are you?"  Wickedness!  Hellishness!  They both moved from category two to category one.

So in summary, the category two woman, if she is unmarried, may simply want to be in a relationship very badly, and may be making that known through the vibration she transmits.  Her vibe is indiscriminate.  If she respects other committed relationships, she remains in category two, but if she does not respect other relationships, she becomes an adulteress in category one.

Now some category two women are married.  The same applies to them.  The married woman may not be getting the attention she should be getting from her husband. So she "gives off" a kind of lonely vibe, a vibe that longs to be noticed and appreciated.  If she goes to her husband and tells him this, she remains in category two.  If her husband refuses to be sensitive to his wife's needs, and she goes to God, she still remains in category two.  God feels great love and compassion for these women, and will vindicate them.  He noticed the unloved Leah in the story of Jacob, and he notices all wives who are unloved.  

But if the unloved or ignored wife takes matters into her own hands and gives off vibes indiscriminately, she moves to category one and becomes an adulteress, seeking the attention of a man that is not her husband.  She becomes a kind of "desperate housewife" if you will.  This vibe is very distinct, and must be avoided or resisted.  I believe this is actually warned about in Proverbs by Solomon when he speaks of an adulterous woman whose husband is away.  (See Proverbs 5, Proverbs 6:20-35, and especially Proverbs 7.)

Now remember our goal and focus is this:  To answer the question, "How much attention should a woman get?"  Each category of women I'm describing is leading us to the answer...found in part 3...click here.

How much attention should a woman get? (Part 1)

In my articles, "How to make yourself ATTRACTIVE," "The answer to the question:  WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD MEN?"and "The answer to the unasked question:  WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD WOMEN?" I focus on the key to beauty:  Humility.  And I define humility as self-forgetfulness, as not intentionally drawing attention to ourselves.  Our motto in life should be captured in the words of John the Baptist in relation to Jesus:  

"He must increase, and I must decrease." John 3:30

 I focus on women in this article because I believe they are the ones primarily tempted to draw attention to themselves physically in this culture.  I speak as a man who experiences this temptation of feminine seduction.

I find these categories of seeking attention in different women:

1.  The indiscriminate vibe of seduction (married or unmarried)

2.  The indiscriminate vibe of seeking attention (married or unmarried)

3.  The discriminate vibe of seeking attention (unmarried and married)

I'll deal with each.

When I say "vibe," I mean a literal vibration; an invisible and intangible transmission broadcast by women (and men.)  I'm specifically dealing with the transmission broadcast by certain women.  Men know how the transmission feels, and some women are more skilled at transmission than others.  

Now for category number 1, I have experienced an intense transmission that feels like irresistible temptation.  It feels like I CAN'T look away from a certain kind of woman, so I have to literally and intensely resist looking at her.  She is a seductress, and this vibe is pure evil.  If she is unmarried, she is basically tempting me to commit adultery.  If she is married, she is tempting me and herself to commit adultery.  The adulteress wants the attention of EVERY man!  Indeed, she wants the attention that ONLY GOD and a husband should receive.  Remember this, because it is the difference between life and death.  This woman wants ALL attention on her, and only GOD should receive ALL attention!  Yet even God doesn't receive or FORCE all attention to be on Him!  The Lord Jesus could have chosen a body that was irresistibly sexy!  Literally all heads could have turned when he entered the room.  But in his HUMILITY he chose a body that was not exceptionally attractive OR UNATTRACTIVE.  

(I can't stress this enough about category one.  The goal is not to be "homely," but to be godly, to be like Christ.  Even if you are just plain "awesome," you clearly are not more awesome than God!  So if Christ could conceal his glory, surely a man and woman can conceal their "sexy"!  No man's muscles are so "awesome" that he just can't contain them, so much so that he HAS to go shirtless!  And no woman's "voluptuousness" is so overwhelming that no matter what shirt or skirt she wears, her womanhood and bosom must burst forth in all of their splendor!  No man or woman is more beautiful THAN GOD!  So if Jesus can conceal his beauty for God's glory, so can we, no matter how "sexy" we may be!)

So the adulteress is really idolatrous.  She wants to be worshiped by men AND WOMEN!  She is not content to be beautiful, but wants to be MORE beautiful than every other woman.  Competition.  Pride!  This must be opposed and resisted where ever it is met.  Now for category two...click here.

The answer to the unasked question: WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD WOMEN?

(Previously I wrote a blog answering the question:  "Where are all the good men?"  To read it, click here.)

There seems to be this assumption:

That a plethora of good women sit around in hopeless frustration, waiting for nonexistent good men.  In other words, it is assumed that there are very many good women and very few (if any) good men; that it is much easier to find a good woman than it is to find a good man.  I'll tell you who does NOT assume this:  good men, AND GOD!  

Look at these scriptures:

“Look,” says the Teacher,“this is what I have discovered:

“Adding one thing to another to discover the scheme of things—

while I was still searching

but not finding—

I found one [upright] man among a thousand,

but not one [upright] woman among them all.

This only have I found:

God made mankind upright,

but men have gone in search of many schemes.”

Ecclesiastes 7:27-29

Whatever the Teacher means, what we find in these words is this:  If it is hard to find a good man, it is just as hard, if not harder, to find a good woman.  At any rate, there is no favoritism with God.  As far as He is concerned, both good men and good women are rare.  

Look again at these familiar words:

 A wife of noble character who can find? 

She is worth far more than rubies. 

Proverbs 31:10

Rare indeed, and hard to find, is a wife of noble character.  When a man finds her, he finds with her God's favor, according to the scriptures.  But where does he find her?

BEHIND THE SCENES!

This very same trait that makes a good man attractive does the same for a good woman:  HUMILITY.  

As I said in my article on finding a good man, so I say about finding a good woman:  

A good woman may be found literally or figuratively behind the scenes.   

Literally, like Christ, she does not strive to draw all attention to herself.  She is content to go unnoticed so that Christ, her truest love, may be noticed instead.  This is contrary to the ways of this world, where women suffer the temptation of seduction.  This world promotes the idea of a woman turning every head when she walks in the room, the heads of men AND women alike!  She must STAND OUT!  Through make up, tight and revealing clothes, perfumes, and many other tactics, she seeks to be seen and noticed and focused upon.  This is not the way of the woman of God, the good woman.

Even in leadership positions, she doesn't seek to be center of attention.  Her focus is on the will of God, loving God, and loving people. Her confidence is in the love of her Savior, Husband, and Brother, Jesus the Lord.  Having his love and attention, she desires the love of one man, her beloved husband.  With her Lord, and her lover, she is content.  She seeks no more attention than they give.

If you are a good man, as I say again, you have probably already met her.  She may be in the background, doing her job, studying for her exams.  She may be quiet or outgoing, but either way, she is not self-centered.  Her beauty radiates from the inside out.  She does not force your attention via tactics of seduction.  You may notice her if you choose, but you do have a choice.  She is rare among women.  If you have met her, do not lose sight of her.  If you haven't yet met her, now you know where to look, and who to look for.

Look behind the scenes.

Look for the one who doesn't demand your attention through seduction.

The ANSWER to the question: WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD MEN?

BEHIND THE SCENES!

That's the answer for all the good women looking for good men!  You need not read any further!!!  But for those who want the details--

It's an answer taken in two ways, literally and figuratively:

1.  Literally.  God made men to be His very own reflections, like Jesus, His perfect reflection.  Notice what is written about Jesus:

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. Luke 5:16

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Mark 1:35

When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. Matthew 14:13

Notice two things:  1) Jesus habitually withdrew to solitude.  2) The crowds sought him and found him in solitude.

Good men are like Christ.  They think, speak, and act like Him.  One of the best pictures of Jesus' character is here: 

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,

did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,

but made himself nothing,

taking the very nature of a servant,

being made in human likeness.

And being found in appearance as a man,

he humbled himself

and became obedient to death—

even death on a cross!

Philippians 2:5-8

Jesus was humble.  He didn't draw attention to Himself, or seek to be the center of attention.  In fact, for 30 years, he was literally "behind the scenes" in Israel, the son of a simple carpenter, though God in the flesh!  Good men are often behind the scenes.  In fact, it may encourage some women to know that it's likely they've already met a good man.  He seemed like a nice enough guy, good at what he does.  When you interact with him, if you get to see him, you like him.  He's even attractive, but not in a glamorous kind of way.  The key is his humility.  He doesn't seek to be seen or to draw attention to himself, because he is not thinking of himself or focusing upon himself. If you have not yet met someone like this, now you know where to look!  Like Christ, he will often withdraw to solitude, whether at work or away from work.  This is where good men may be literally.  But all of this also needs to be seen...

2.  Figuratively.  Now humility doesn't necessarily mean shy, introverted, "antisocial," quiet, or unpopular.  Jesus was clearly not shy or "antisocial."  And he was definitely popular.  Entire cities knew about him and came to him for healing.  He was powerful in word and in action.  So a good man may not necessarily be literally hidden, but he will NEVER be focused on himself characteristically.  Even when he leads, or speaks to crowds, it will be clear that his focus is on a cause greater than himself:  the very will of God!  He will be genuinely focused on God and people.  He will love God supremely and people impartially, loving men and women as he loves himself.  Yes, he will love himself, but not with self-centered self exalting conceit.  He will simply see himself as God sees him, and be content with God's approval.  And having God's approval, he will feel no need to ponder his self worth.

Click here if you didn't read my articles on "How to make yourself ATTRACTIVE." If you have read them, I now give you the essential characteristic of EVERY attractive man:

HUMILITY.

In humility is true beauty, and in pride the essence of the ugly.

If you are a man and you want to be as attractive as you can be, pursue humility.  In this pursuit, you seek to be the very likeness of Jesus, the very image and likeness of God--the very goal of every man.  

If you are a good woman and want to find a good man, look behind the scenes for the humble man, or look for the humble leader.  He is probably not as far from you as you think.  But if you find him, how do you know he'll want to be with you?

(To find the answer, click here.)



How to make yourself ATTRACTIVE (Part 3)

(If you missed part 1, click here.  For part 2, click here.)

In scripture, I find these keys to physical beauty:

1.  "A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man."  The Apostle Paul to the church in Corinth

I'm not dealing with the whole head covering thing right now.  And Paul isn't focused on physical beauty or attractiveness like I am.  But I do believe I find a principle for physical attractiveness, one that is objective to God and mankind.  Here it is: 

If you are a man, look like a man. 

If you are a woman, look like a woman. 

Please, for the love of our Creator, DO NOT MISREAD WHAT I AM SAYING!!  I am NOT giving ANY standard in terms of muscles, body shape, weight, etc.  I am only saying that when someone looks at you, from any angle or distance, if you are a man, the person shouldn't have to ask if that is the case.  The same for a woman.  Yet again, I'm not dealing with hair length, facial hair, etc.  I'm talking about what we all know in terms of masculinity and femininity.  There is a difference, and we all know it.  No matter how tall a woman is or short a man is, no matter how big a man is or small a woman is, we know the distinction when we see it.  This is what makes us attractive to SOMEBODY ON THE PLANET EARTH!!!  It doesn't take more than what I'm saying!!! It doesn't take muscles on a man or a figure 8 shape for a woman.  If a man or woman simply brushes their teeth and takes a bath, they can be physically attractive TO SOMEBODY!  

We all know this.  We've seen men and women of various sizes and shapes in relationships.  We've even seen "unattractive" men with "attractive" women, and "attractive" men with "unattractive" women.  Somebody finds EVERYBODY attractive.  Let's be real.  Why are men attracted to women, and women attracted to men?  Because they are what they are!  Men like women, and women like men.  Men like masculinity.  Women like femininity.  So if it is obvious what gender you are, SOMEBODY, somewhere on EARTH, will find you attractive. 

2.  "You knit me together in my mother's womb and created my inmost being."  King David

Here we have that attractiveness of uniqueness, spiritual and physical.  There are two extremes we can go to.  We can try very hard to be ourselves.  (This is ironic, since we shouldn't have to try to be what we naturally are.)  Or we can be so in love with who we think we are that our uniqueness is obnoxious.  We excuse our obnoxiousness by saying things like, "That's just the way I am.  You just have to accept me for me."  In reality, we are least our true selves when we are obnoxious, because we are least like Christ, who is never obnoxious. 

The key is in the principle of balance I find in scripture, expressed like this: 

"Those who have much did not have too much, and those who had little did not have too little."

If a person is loud, she is not tool loud.  If a person is quiet, he is not too quiet.
If he is big, he is not too big.  If she is small, she is not too small.

The way to achieve this balance is in the self forgetfulness Jesus commands through self-denial, as His disciple.  Those who lose their souls, or selves, for Him will gain them, but those who seek to keep their souls will lose them.  In other words, all who are self centered and self exalting will in the end never be who they truly are.  But all who forget themselves in loving God and people will find themselves unconsciously.  We all know this.  We know that we make the best impression when we are not trying to make a good impression or bad one, whereas we make the worst impression when we try our hardest to impress. 

Our God given sexuality (the distinction between masculinity and femininity) as well as our God given individuality, make us naturally or effortlessly attractive.  This is so because we all reflect God, who is supremely beautiful. 

3.  "The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old."  Proverbs 20:29

There is an attractiveness in youth and in old age.  Both should possess the beauty of maturity.  This is scorned in America.  The young and old alike resist maturity,as if youthfulness is synonymous with immaturity.  Think of maturity physically.  The body becomes attractive sexually because it has reached maturity, meaning it is self sustaining, reproducing, and life sustaining. 

I believe maturity is attractive for the young and the old, that we are most attractive when we "act our age." 

Thus the common theme to making ourselves truly attractive is to simply be what God made us to be at this present moment.  If we are men, be "manly;" if we are women, be "womanly."  Whatever we are "uniquely," this we should be without trying to be.  If we are young or old, we should accept what we are at this moment for the glory of God our Creator and Definer. 

When viewed from this perspective, it is easy to be attractive.  God requires nothing of us that is beyond how He made us.

"But what if I'm 'overweight'?"
"What if I've already altered myself to be something God didn't make me to be?"
"What if I'm insecure and I really don't know what God made me to be?"
"What if I simply don't like my personality or body?"

It is written, "God commended His love to us in that while we were sinners, Jesus died for our sins." 

In other words, the Apostle Paul makes it clear in the words above, and in his letter to the Roman Christians of his day, that God was for us even when we were against Him.  So, if we are not what He intended us to be, He still loves us and will help us right now, where we are, to be what He intended, physically and spiritually.

1. The first step is to admit to our Creator that we are not what He intended.  This is called "repentance."
2. The second step is to accept and trust that Jesus Christ is God in the flesh, and that He came and died in our place, to replace the old you and me with a new you and me.  This is called being "born again."  A new you comes into existence when you repent and believe in Christ.
3. Finally, we live for God only, resulting in true inner and outer beauty.  In other words, the new you is made in the image of God, the new spirit you receive. The old you that used to be focused on yourself died with Jesus in the past, and a new you is born.  This is all by the power of God.  It is spiritual and supernatural, and will manifest itself in the physical. 

So first, like Jesus said, and as it is clear in scripture, focus on the beauty or attractiveness of your heart before God your Creator.  When you are attractive to Him, as has been discussed, you will be truly, really, and objectively attractive to all who are sane!  What really makes anyone attractive is their heart, which can be changed at this very moment.  The wonderful thing about salvation is that attraction isn't delayed until we lose or gain weight.  We don't have to wait for some future date to be beautiful.  It can happen right now by becoming a child of God.

Second, as far as your physical appearance goes, do what ever comes naturally and effortlessly right now to exemplify your masculinity/femininity, unique individuality, and age/maturity.  Again, this should not be hard or take alot of effort.  It's not hard to breath or blink.  These things happen naturally as a part of who and what you are.  In the same way, emphasize without exaggerating your distinctness in gender, personality, and maturity. 

For example, if you are a man, look at yourself in the mirror and simply accept what you see at this moment.  You cannot immediately change your body, but you can be the best you can be physically.  If YOU feel that you need to lose or gain weight, let it be felt intuitively by you only, meaning you don't adopt any worldview of yourself that comes from the media or any other person.  Of course, you may have loved ones like family members or friends that can help you.  But the simple truth of the matter is, you have ONE Creator before whom you will stand and give an account for what you did with the body He gave you.  As a man, emphasize that which is manly about your body.  This is a start, and is attractive as it reflects the image of God.  (This principle of course applies to women and the feminine.)

Let me make clear what I do NOT mean by emphasis of attractiveness without exaggerations.  I do not mean these words for those who ALREADY feel as though they are as God intended.  In other words, if a man is "muscular" and satisfied with his body, he doesn't have to wear tight shirts or NO shirt to "show off."  And if a woman  is "voluptuous" she doesn't need to wear tight, skimpy, revealing clothes.  "If you've got it, flaunt it," is NOT a maxim of God's kingdom.  This is not how we should make ourselves attractive.  Remember, "man looks at the outer appearance, God looks at the heart."  If there is anything we should "show off," it is a Christlike heart of humility and love for God and others.  This is how children of God beautify themselves:  not by clothing and jewelry and hairstyles, or things that emphasize the physical and temporal, but by inner qualities of beauty that will last eternally.  

I mean these words about the emphasis of attractiveness for those who feel like they are not as they should be physically as of this moment.  In C.S. Lewis' "The Problem of Pain," he says, "

 

“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world”

 

 

Let's use Lewis' words as a standard for those who don't feel physically attractive.  It is an internal intuitive standard given by God, not by me or society or some celebrity.  I can't emphasize this enough.  This is how YOU feel about yourself, and has nothing to do with anyone else.  You have one Creator.

Lewis speaks of God speaking through pleasure, conscience, and pain.  Apply these to how you see your body.  Do you feel an intuitive sense of pleasure with how you look?  Do you approve?  Is your conscience clear about how much you weigh, or do YOU feel like you weigh too much or too little?   Does your physical state cause you pain, meaning you weigh so much that it is hurting your heart to beat or hurting you to move freely?  Do you weigh so little that you have almost no energy for basic mobility?  

Again, you are an internal standard for yourself, given by God in your creation.  For example, I am naturally "small framed," meaning no matter how much I eat, I'm only going to gain so much weight.  Some are naturally "large framed," meaning they can only lose so much weight.  This is by God's design, and it is good.  If we look at the animal kingdom, some animals are large and some small.  An elephant isn't supposed to be lean like a cheetah, and vice versa  Their beauty is in their size differences, and it shouldn't be any other way.  Think of yourself like this, according to the standards of pleasure, conscience, and pain, if you don't feel you are what God made you to be physically right now. And know that EVEN NOW, physically, beauty remains in your masculinity or femininity, your individuality, and your maturity.  FOR NOW, emphasize (without exaggerating) these areas.  Until you are where you supposed to be physically, bring God glory, to the best of your ability, with your body.  After this emphasis, ask our Creator to give you wisdom as to how to make your body as He intended it to be.  GO TO HIM ONLY.  Not to society or some celebrity UNLESS society or a celebrity is saying EXACTLY what God is saying to you intuitively!

As far as attractive personality, just focus on honesty!  It is really that easy!  Your goal is not uniqueness, but genuineness.  If you are genuine, you will stumble upon uniqueness, and attractiveness.  The key is to realize that God made you, inside and out, and what He made is "very good!" 

And as far as your age, if you are young, don't try to be "old," or older.  If you are "old," don' t try to be young or younger.  Be whatever age you are right now!  But most especially, strive for maturity.  However old you are, be as mature as you are supposed to be at that age.  If you have gray hair, KEEP IT GRAY!!  Contrary to popular belief, the word of God calls this a glorious trait for the aged.  If you are young, then enjoy your youthful energy, as much of it as you have right now!  Move as much as you can right now, as best as you can. 

The word of God says that God's commands are not burdensome, meaning oppressive or too difficult.  God's will is described as "good, acceptable, and perfect."  It is God's will for men to be His glory and women to be the glory of His glory.  In this is no difficulty.  If you find difficulty in simply being what God made you to be, then you are trying to be something or someone that you are not.  It should be as easy to be who God made you to be as it is to breathe.

Measure yourself by the standard of Christ Jesus Himself, AND NO OTHER STANDARD.  You were made to be conformed to His image and likeness, and NO ONE ELSE'S!  Don't copy anybody, celebrity or non celebrity, UNLESS HE OR SHE SEEMS TO BE A PICTURE OF CHRIST LIKENESS.

I pray this encourages you.  That you feel how much God loves you.  How much I love you in writing all of this, because I am writing this for you.  YOU.  The one who is reading.  I love you! 

"But you don't even know me?!"

If you were out and about, and a mother with a little baby were near you, and the baby said, "I love you," wouldn't you respond "I love you too?"  Would you mean it?  Why?  The baby doesn't know you.  Or maybe she does!  Maybe he sees what God made you to be, and loves you quite simply.  So accept that from me.

May you be what God made you to be, spiritually, physically, attractively.

How to make yourself ATTRACTIVE (Part 2)

Since God looks at the heart, as we discussed in part 1, does He care AT ALL about our outer appearance?  I believe He does.  Our bodies are called "the temples of God." by the Apostle Paul.  And the temple of God in Israel was indeed beautiful!  Again, Paul calls man the "glory of God," and woman "the glory of man," meaning the glory of God's glory.  He is speaking of man and woman as they appear physically, in dealing with head coverings.  And Jesus told the Pharisees, who focused on the outer life ALONE to first deal with the inner life, THEN deal with the outer.  So the issue with beauty is priority. 

Secondly, beauty isn't measured by what Cosmopolitan Magazine Or GQ says.  Neither of these give us the standards of our Creator, the only one who can truly define spiritual and physical beauty.

But does He? 
Does God give us a physical standard by which we measure physical beauty?
As I said before, there are men and women described in scripture as beautiful or physically attractive:

1.  Sarah, Abraham's wife (even in her "old age.")
2.  Rebecca, Isaac's wife
3.  Rachel, the second wife of Jacob (so beautiful to him that 7 years of waiting to marry her seemed like 7 days in his eyes.)
4.  Joseph, Rachel's son
5.  Saul, the first king of Israel
6.  David, the second king of Israel
7.  Absalom, David's son
8.  Esther

Yet Christ Himself, the God Man, seemed to have no distinguishing physical characteristics, according to these scriptures:

He grew up before him like a tender shoot,

and like a root out of dry ground.

He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,

nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.   Isaiah 53:2

There are two senses in which to understand the physical appearance of Christ to those who saw Him:

1.  He didn't "look" like a "king," at least not the king His people expected.  This would be similiar to Samuel's perspective of Eliab.  Eliab (and Saul for that matter) "looked" kingly, or stately.  Tall, handsome, imposing.  But Jesus didn't look like the Hebrews thought a king should look.  It is interesting to note that when Christ revealed His glory to Peter, James, and John on what is called "The Mount of Transfiguration," he most assuredly looked like more than a King:  He looked like God Himself!!  The same is true when He appeared to John in the book of Revelation.

2.  He wasn't striking in any way, physically speaking.  This is significant.  He wasn't exceptionally good looking or exceptionally plain.  He wasn't exceptionally tall or short, big or small.  In other words, as far as how Christ looked, He could go completely unnoticed.  This was on purpose, because in His perfect humility, Christ hid all of the glory of His divinity; the beauty of God that CANNOT be ignored. 

This may discourage some, but it shouldn't at all, unless you WANT to stand out!  Unless you define attractive as every eye on you when you enter the room.  But it wasn't like this for Christ.  It is not like this for anything in all of creation.  Even the sun, in all of it's radiance and glory CAN BE IGNORED.  The sun can go UNNOTICED! 

I've experienced this.  One day I saw a most beautiful rainbow.  It was a full perfect circle right in the middle of the sky!  I tell you the truth, people just kept on as though it weren't there!  I actually looked for others who noticed it, and found no one.  I tried to stop people and get them to look.  Only one person did.  Now I'm not saying I'm the only one who stopped and admired the beauty of God's rainbow.  I'm saying it was clearly being ignored, or going unnoticed.  Who on earth is as beautiful as a rainbow? 

Yet with all of this, I do believe God gives us "secrets" of physical beauty.  I'll show you what I see .......
in part 3! 

(click here to see part 3)

How to make yourself ATTRACTIVE (Part 1)

Who doesn't want to be attractive?  Who doesn't want to be appealing to behold!

Yet what is the standard by which we measure true attraction? 

I believe it must start with the Creator's view of His creation.

In the beginning, after God finished making everything, He looked at it and declared it was "very good."  So the very first standard by which we measure whether we are attractive or not is whether we are exactly as our Creator intended us to be.  Do we match the picture He had in mind when He "knit us together in our mother's womb and created our inmost being," as David said? 

Well what is that picture exactly?
Christ conformity!

We were made to be in God's image, according to His likeness, which means we were "predestined to be conformed to the likeness of Christ," as the scriptures say.

This applies to those who are seeking marriage, as well as those who want to remain attractive to their spouses in marriage.  It applies to those who are single and plan to remain single.  Attractiveness in these writings simply means being what God made us to be, expressing His glory and beauty, spiritually and physically. 

So we must begin by seeing ourselves, and everyone else, as God sees us.

Listen to God's own words concerning His own perspective:

The Lord said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king.”

But Samuel said, “How can I go? Saul will hear about it and kill me.”

The Lord said, “Take a heifer with you and say, ‘I have come to sacrifice to the Lord.’ Invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what to do. You are to anoint for me the one I indicate.”

Samuel did what the Lord said. When he arrived at Bethlehem, the elders of the town trembled when they met him. They asked, “Do you come in peace?”

Samuel replied, “Yes, in peace; I have come to sacrifice to the Lord. Consecrate yourselves and come to the sacrifice with me.” Then he consecrated Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice.

When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, “Surely the Lord’s anointed stands here before the Lord.”

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”   1 Samuel 16:1-7

Samuel was clearly impressed with Eliab's physical appearance, but God was not.  Now David was described as being physically attractive.  There are several men and women in scripture who are described as good looking.  But God gives us insight into His view of us.  It is very powerful to me that God says He "does not look at the things man looks at." 

We look at appearance, height, weight, shape, beauty, sexual desirability.  But God does not look a these things.  God rejected Eliab!  How terrible is that!!??  Whose rejection is worse than the rejection of God?  (Now I'm sure this was not a total rejection.  It seems as if it were only a rejection of Eliab as God' chosen king.)

So the first step to being truly attractive is to be attractive to God.  And the way to be attractive to Him is to make our hearts beautiful in His eyes.  How do we do that?

First, we realize that we can do that.  Jesus compared the heart to a tree and our words to the fruit on the tree.  He said we can know the heart by what comes out of it, that is, by what we say and do.  Most beautifully, Jesus said, "Make the tree good and the fruit will be good."  He made it clear that a good tree cannot bear bad fruit and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.

God looks at our hearts, and not our outer appearance.  We can make our hearts good (attractive to God) or bad (unattractive to God.)  It is up to us whether we are attractive to God, and thus truly attractive, or if we are unattractive to God, and thus truly unattractive.  In other words, if we are voted by People Magazine as "The Most Beautiful Man/Woman On Earth" but God rejects us, then are we really beautiful?

God also said, "He who honors me, I will honor.  But He who despises me shall be lightly esteemed."  If we set our hearts on honoring God, God will see this in our hearts, and thus He Himself will honor us.  He will highly esteem us, and find us attractive.  And again,  if God finds us attractive, we will be truly attractive. 

Finally, King Solomon, the wisest man to ever live, second to Christ alone, said these words:

Let love and faithfulness never leave you;

bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.

Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.  Proverbs 3:3-4

Now this is interesting to me, because Solomon shows us the way to favor with God and people.  In other words, to be truly attractive is to be objectively attractive.  This means that any SANE person who knows you would see you as attractive.  If God finds you attractive, then it would be INSANE for any mere human to find you unattractive. 

But we all know this to be true.  What God finds attractive is genuinely attractive.  Who isn't attracted to love and faithfulness?  Who isn't attracted to a person who lives to honor God alone?  The only ones who find this unattractive are those who are evil!  And insane!

Some of you may be thinking, "This is all well and good, Olatunde.  But how can I also be GOOD LOOKING??  COMELY EVEN!??"

Click here to find out.

The Code of the Warrior of God (Part 4)

To follow the flow of my thoughts: For part 1, click here, part 2 here and part 3 here.

Presence
Power

Finally, we come to prowess.

These three mark the code of the warrior of God.

Prowess, either as a natural or supernatural trait, or in simple obedience to God by faith, is an absolute necessity for the warrior of God. Nimrod's exploits assumed boldness. It is also implied that Abram and his "trained men" were brave, going to battle against kings when they were greatly outnumbered.  God specifically commanded Joshua numerous times to be "strong and very courageous."  Gideon was encouraged to be courageous, and given a glimpse into the minds of his enemies to further embolden him.

It is very encouraging to me that God commands strength and courage.  This shows me that I can simply choose to be strong and fearless, and that God will back this fearlessness.  In fact, He promises to back what He commands by giving His Spirit, as it is written, 

"You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you."  Acts 1:8

The Lord Jesus and His apostles were especially powerful and bold, to the extent that the boldness of the apostles was noted by their enemies: 

"Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus." Acts 4:13

What does all of this have to do with you and me?  We are not at war or on a battle field of enemies, are we?  

The Bible assumes spiritual warfare as our reality.

Think of this spiritually, soulically, and physically.

The Bible says, "Submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you.  Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you."

We see that through faith in Christ Jesus as Lord and Savior, we have the very same Holy Spirit with us that warriors of God in days of old had with them.  The difference is this:  The Spirit of God remains in believers of Christ now and forever!  He doesn't just come upon us temporarily to empower us, as He did with Kings, Priests, Prophets, and Warriors in the Old Testament.  I have the very same Holy Spirit in me that Joshua and David had with them.  

With His presence we have his power, or ability, and divinely given bravery.  But who, or what, are our enemies?  Spiritally, the devil and demons and deceptions and temptations are our enemies.  We must possess the presence of God to fill and fulfill us, so that the tempations and deceptions of Satan pail in comparison.  We must be brave to resist such a treacherous and ferocious enemy, a powerful liar and murderer, sadistic unmerciful and cruel.  To resist and oppose him will invite the retaliation of Satan.  So be it, says God's warrior, filled with God's presence and God's power.

Our enemies attack our souls, our minds, emotions, and free decisions.  We must resist manipulations, seductions, and dominations.   There is war against our spirits for our souls.

Our enemies attack our bodies, seeking to weaken us, sicken us, and kill us.  Whether through stress, disease, or literal physical attacks, we possess a duty to honor God with our bodies, and thus resist attacks upon us physically.

We have everything we need for invincibility and perfect victory.  We possess the presence, power, and prowess of the one true God who is a warrior!

If you are a believer in Christ and a child of God, then God says these words to you now:

"The Lord is with you mighty warrior!"

The Code of the Warrior of God (Part 2)

We continue our discussion of God's warriors and their code.  Click here to read part 1.

I mentioned the warriors in scripture that possessed three similarities:
1. Presence-God's presence, experienced in invincibility and perfect success
2. Prowess-Possessed or commanded
3. Power-Being "mighty"

The first warrior mentioned in scripture is a man named Nimrod.  Here is his description:

Cush was the father of Nimrod, who grew to be a mighty warrior on the earth. He was a mighty hunter before the Lord; that is why it is said, “Like Nimrod, a mighty hunter before the Lord.” Genesis 10:8-9

The word "mighty" is used three times in describing him.  We'll get to that.  Notice the description, "mighty hunter before the Lord."  This is the key to being a warrior of God: the very presence of God.  We see this with Abram and his trained men, and the victory God gave them. Melchizedek, the king of Salem and "priest of the most high God," blessed Abram with these words:

“Blessed be Abram by God Most High,

Creator of heaven and earth.

And blessed be God Most High,

who delivered your enemies into your hand.”

Genesis 14:19

With all the warriors mentioned, there was this in common:  the very real presence of God. It is written,

"The LORD is with you when you are with Him." 2 Chronicles 15:2

Think of presence for a moment, spiritually, soulically, and physically.  The spiritual is the essential presence, or being. The soulical is the mind, emotion, and will, the essence of the individual.  The physical is seeing, touching, hearing, and involving yourself externally with the spiritual personality before you.

Imagine a friend walks into the room.  That friend is now present, there with you at that moment, in the very same room.  You acknowledge your friend's presence with a greeting:  "Hi!"  This simply means "I see you," like in the movie "Avatar."  Think of this as the essence of spiritual presence, to simply be together in the same room.  Now, you ask your friend, "How are you doing?"  And you really want to know!  This moves from the simply spiritual to the soulical.  You desire to know your friend's thoughts, emotions, and desires; with your will you focus your mind on how your friend is doing, and you feel sympathy emotionally for him or her.  Your friend is frustrated because he or she got into a car accident and has no transportation.  You feel bad for your friend and offer to give him or her a ride until his or her car is repaired.  This is now physical presence, physical involvement in your friend's life.  You acknowledged your friend with a greeting (spiritual presence).  You asked how your friend was doing (soulical presence).  And you got personally involved in your friend's life. (physical presence.)

Now apply this to the presence of God with a warrior.  God is "omnipresent," everywhere at once, every where he wants to be, no where he doesn't want to be.  So he is literally "physically" with the divine warrior.  The divine warrior acknowledges God's presence, and greets Him in praise and worship.  Then the warrior seeks the will of God.  Finding the will of God, the warrior submits to God and resists the devil.  As it written above, the LORD is with the warrior while the warrior is with God.  To be with God, or any other person for that matter, means you acknowledge their presence, you focus on their will, mind, and emotions, and you become actively involved in their lives.  This is the first and foremost code of the warrior of God:  To seek the very real presence of God.

Read part 3 here.

 

The Code of the Warrior of God (Part 3)

"The Lord is with you, mighty warrior."

(Click here for part 1 and here for part 2.)

The scripture quoted above is what God said to a man named Gideon.  It is how God greeted Gideon, which is beautiful and powerful.  For God to say He is with a person, and to call that person a mighty warrior, is the essence of the code of God's warriors.

We explored in part 2 the first part of the divine warrior code:  

Presence-God's very real presence, giving invincibility and perfect victory to the warrior.  

This makes sense because the presence of God would distinguish a man or woman by making him or her successful in everything he or she does!  We see this with all of the warriors I listed in part 1.  Naturally speaking, sometimes a warrior wins, sometimes a warrior loses.  If a warrior always lost, then he or she would dishonor the title warrior.  But if he or she always won, then that would be another matter entirely.  We will skip the concept of bravery and focus now on the concept of power, or ability.

By ability I mean what the Bible calls being "mighty."  I see this word in three ways:

1. Natural ability or potentiality

2. Supernatural ability or potentiality

3. Natural or supernatural training, encompassing numbers 1 or 2

Now the line between these three are not clear because all ability, natural or supernatural, comes from God.  The difference is this:  natural ability tends to bring honor to the individual, whereas supernatural ability tends to bring honor to God.  (Or it is at least viewed as beyond the person.)  

Some people are born strong, or skilled at being aggressive or evasive in combat or fights.  They were simply born this way.  Now they can increase in their natural battle skills through practice, experience, and training.  But the ability came from the womb.  

Nimrod seems to be an example of natural battle skills.  He was mighty before the Lord as a hunter and warrior.  In other words, it seemed that somehow his natural ability was acknowledged by God and mankind.  

Abram's men are described as "trained," which would seem to encompass natural ability, potentiality, training, and experience.  Yet is it also very clear that God gave Abram and his men supernatural success and victory because Abram and his men were greatly outnumbered and fought against kings.  

Divine warriors like Joshua, Gideon, and David seemed to possess a combination of natural and supernatural ability.  The natural is what I've mentioned as being born ability. But the supernatural involves the very presence of God Himself giving invincibility and perfect victory, as long as the warrior stayed in submission to God!  If the warrior rebelled, then victory was no longer a possibility.  We see this in the situation with Achan in the book of Joshua.  When Achan sinned, it caused Israel to be defeated.  In the story, Joshua's response is significant.  He seemed genuinely distressed by the defeat, as if defeat was a most unnatural occurence.  Of course any defeat causes sorrow, but Joshua responded as if he never expected to be defeated.  This was so because God promised this very thing to Joshua:

"No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life."  Joshua 1:5

But when there was sin, then there was victory for Israel's opposition.  This is crucial to understand, especially in light of political events of today.  Neither Israel, nor America, nor any other group or individual can claim immunity and perfect victory unless they are in perfect submission to God's will!  Even then, God may will for his warrior to die to bring Him glory.  But whether in life or death, God is only on the side of those who are on His side!  

With Gideon we don't immediately see natural abilty or potentiality.  We find God Himself seeing something in Gideon that is not obvious to the reader of scripture.  We also see the Spirit of God coming upon Gideon and empowering him as a warrior.  The same happens with David, who seemed to have some natural ability with a sling shot.  God's presence and power with the warrior results in victories that bring God glory.  He caused Gideon to win a battle with only 300 men, as opposed to about 32,000 men! This, of course, is supernatural, yet the men with Gideon had to possess certain distinctions instructed by God.  God even told Gideon in His first meeting with him to "go in the strength that he had."  

So as far as power or ability goes, there is a cooperation between natural ability/training and supernatural ability/training.  With warriors like Joshua, Gideon, Samson, and David, the Spirit of God would come upon them in the power and fierceness of a divine warrior.  God's presence with and in the warrior would at times creat terror and dread upon the enemies of God.  In other words, the "fear and terror of God," would cause nations to feel paralyzed!  All would know that they had better not bother those who obey God!  

The divine warrior's code encompasses God's presence and God given power.  Next, we'll focus on the necessity of prowess, or bravery....

Read part 4 here