Saying what we FEEL (Part 1)

the one year old boy saw a rainbow.  he jumped up and down, pointing and laughing.  his one year old buddy played in the sand, dumping sand on his head.  the boy who saw the rainbow ran to the boy in the sand and touched him on the shoulder, jumping up and down, pointing to the rainbow.  sand boy kept dumping sand on his head.  rainbow boy ran to a girl coming down the slides.  rainbow boy touched slide girl on the shoulder, jumping up and down, pointing at the rainbow.  slide girl went back up the slide and came down.  rainbow boy went to another boy in the fire truck. he pulled fire truck boy out of the fire truck, jumping up and down, pointing to the rain bow.  fire truck boy jumped up and down, pointing with him, both laughing.  from that day on, fire truck boy and rainbow boy played together, best friends.

***

I got out of my car at the grocery store and saw a rainbow in the sky.  It was a perfect circle of beautiful color, right in the middle of the sky.  I looked around to see if anyone else noticed it.  No one did.  I stood and watched in awe of God's creativity and glory, remembering the  biblical story.  I tried to get someones attention who got out of her car, but she kept walking.  I tried again.  Ignored.  I tried once more.  He stopped, looked, smiled, and went into the grocery store.

Perhaps the rainbow was only for me.  But the joy I felt became words, and the words sought ears..

CLICK HERE FOR PART 2...

Does God REALLY love us UNCONDITIONALLY? (Part 2)

God expects our trust, love, and obedience.  He loves us whether or not we trust, love, and obey Him.  This is His “unconditional love;” in this way He does love us no matter what we do.  But we cannot be His children or experience intimate connection with Him no matter what we do. To become His children, we must actively, consciously, and deliberately put our total trust in Him and His Son.  To experience intimacy with Him, we must obey Him.  These are the CONDITIONS of being “born again” and being one with God.

Now, deep down inside we not only know this, but appreciate this.  What relationship, what REAL relationship, has no conditions or expectations?  Think of your closest friends or relatives, even the relationships that seem the easiest.  Does it matter what our closest relationships do or don’t do?  Can I be married without the first condition of exclusive commitment?  Can my wife be physically intimate with me and any man she chooses?  Will we remain married no matter what we do?

So it is with God, the most valuable relationship in our lives.

God cares about what we do because He genuinely loves us.  And love that is genuine has conditions.

Does God REALLY love us UNCONDITIONALLY?

Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?”  Luke 17:17-18

Jesus asked this after only one of the ten lepers he healed came back to praise and thank God for his healing.  Of course Jesus healed the ten before they proved themselves “worthy or unworthy.”  But this doesn’t change what He said.  He still seemed to expect them to thank and praise God.

In other words, His “unconditional love,” expressed in unconditional healing, didn’t seem to be without ANY expectations.  For God to love us unconditionally simply means He loves us, and does good towards us, whether we thank Him or not.  But this doesn’t mean He could care less if we thank Him.

The same is true for me as a husband and father.  I love my wife and children whether they return my love or not, but I definitely want them to return my love.  Not only this, I EXPECT them to.  I think they are WRONG if they don’t. 

So what does unconditional love mean then?  Or is love really without conditions? 

Jesus said in another place, “IF you love me, you will keep my commandments.”  The word IF is a CONDITIONAL WORD, which shows that the CONDITION of loving Jesus is obedience.

Some one may give this objection:

“Of course, that is the case for us, but HE loves US without conditions, as it is written, ‘God commended His love to us in that while we were sinners, Jesus died for our sins.  AND it is written that God first loved us, and that we did not first love God.” 

Both of these things are true, but for salvation to be EXPERIENCED we must meet a CONDITION:  FAITH!

So God’s love, ultimately expressed in the death of His Son, happened whether we believe in Jesus or not. BUT WE IT WILL NOT BE EXPERIENCED IN US FOR OUR SALVATION UNLESS WE BELIEVE!

Therefore, to love God, and experience His love, we must meet the conditions of obedience and faith.

What would Jesus have been like in high school?

“All the tax collectors and sinners were approaching to listen to Him.”  Luke 15:1

“Sinners” found Jesus approachable and interesting to listen to.  They didn’t feel condemned or bored.  They were drawn to Him, which meant they liked Him.  According to scripture, “Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”  As He was then, He is and would be now.  I imagined this in relation to a conversation I had a long time ago.

I once asked a group of teenagers at church what they thought Jesus would be like if He were a high school student.  They said they thought He’d be "lame"  I asked why, and pointed out that Jesus was, and is, “perfect.”  I made it clear that for a teenaged Jesus to be “lame” would mean He some how lacked social skills, and was therefore imperfect.  So He would not have been lame, or imperfect.  He would be a good student, especially his behavior.  He would either go unnoticed, not drawing attention to Himself in any good or bad way, or He would be a popular student in the sense of being a leader and nonconformist.  He wouldn’t be especially attractive or unattractive physically; in this way He’d go unnoticed.  Yet He would definitely be interesting, whether He was a student leader or whether He simply blended in.  Anyone who knew Him wouldn’t find Him “lame.”

Rejected teenagers would be drawn to Him.  Teachers would respect Him, unless they were hypocrites or self-righteous.  These would fear and hate Him.

But no one would think Jesus was “lame,” in His day or in ours.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lame:  just plain stupid, un-original, or lifeless.  Urban Dictionary

Three Ways to Experience and Manifest God's Presence (Part 2)

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.  This is what we focused on in the last blog.  If you feel oppressed or enslaved, the Spirit is not where you are, nor is He the source of your slavery.  Yet ironically, by being his “slave,” you will be the most free! 

The second way I mentioned in the last blog for experiencing and manifesting God’s presence is establishing and maintaining order.  It is written, “God is not the author of disorder, but of peace.”  And Jesus said that peacemakers would be called the children of God.  So order is from God, and thus order welcomes God’s presence into our lives.  How so?

The state of perfect peace, which comes about by perfect order, is the state of heaven, or God’s kingdom.  In heaven God’s will is the sole will, the only will.  His kingdom is sought first and foremost.  This is the essence of peace and order:  Perfect agreement with God’s will.  When we experience this rare state of things, we feel like we’re in heaven.  Whether listening to a symphony orchestra, watching a winning team flawlessly unified in achieving victory, or a simple family gathering at the dinner table where each family member is heard and valued without interruption, unity is heavenly—it  is the beauty of eternity.

Three Ways to Experience and Manifest God's Presence

Scripture gives three ways to experience or manifest God’s presence:

 

1.  Maintain and promote liberty.

2.  Maintain and promote order.

3.  Maintain and promote goals that agree with God’s will.

 

These are not the only ways in scripture to experience and share God’s presence, but they are the ones that are on my mind right now.  Let’s look at each one.

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.”

By liberty, the word of God means complete freedom to be what God made us to be and to do what God made us to do.  God's first words to Adam were these, “From the trees in the garden you may freely eat…” 

Freely. 

It is further written, “If you abide in my words, you are my disciples indeed.  You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  And, “It is for freedom that Christ has set you free.  Stand firm then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

The Savior is the Liberator, but to experience Him as such, we must submit to Him as Lord.  This is ironic.  We choose freedom by renouncing one master and choosing another.  We renounce Satan, or sin, or self centered living –in a word, ourselves--as our own masters.  In exchange, we submit to God, our Creator and thus our rightful Owner and Master.  In this, we become free to be His, and He is free to be ours.  I experienced something like this exchange in college.

As a member of The Morehouse College Glee Club, I travelled all over the U.S. during Spring Break.  So I’d “give up” my “freedom” during Spring Tour.  I was not free to be home from school (and do “what I wanted”) because I was a “slave” to the Glee Club.  But in this “slavery,” I was free to see cities, states, and places I’d never seen before, as well as free to make the most beautiful music I’ve ever experienced. 

This is the beauty of the liberty God gives us.  When we give up doing what we want, we get to experience more than we could have ever done by ourselves.

And this kind of liberty is not only from God, but is a manifestation of the presence of God.

Moses and the Burning Book (Part 2)

Hon always thought the biblical Moses had an advantage over church going Christians in 2013.  After all, whose calling was as clear as the burning bush?  But God was correcting Hon through a burning book, the burning words of God in his consciousness. 

Hon realized that every revelation of God, every time God reveals Himself to someone, it is direct and indirect, as direct and indirect as the burning bush. 

Yes, God indeed spoke to Moses from a burning bush—directly.  But is the omnipresent God in a bush?  Or was the bush a means to the end of God’s communication?  Wasn’t the burning bush also indirect communication?  (In fact, was God’s language Hebrew? Could Moses speak directly to God in the eternal language of the trinity?  God speaking to man by definition involves translation.  Who can know God’s mind, or God’s language, except the Spirit of God?)

In other words, when Moses wanted to see “God’s glory,” Moses could not look upon God’s face and live.  He couldn’t see God directly.  Who can?  Who has? 

Indeed, to see the Son is the see the Father, and thus the most direct experience of God we can have.  But here again, the Word—which is eternal, immortal, and invisible--became flesh, mortal, and visible—for us!

In, with, and through all of these thoughts, God had just spoken to Hon, in burning words,  from a burning book; and this communication required the removal of his shoes no less than this was required of Moses. 

 

 

 

 

 

Moses and the Burning Book (Part 1)

One day, while home alone, Moses Hon read the chapter in scripture for which his mother named him.  (But she called him by Hon, his middle name.)  His life’s purpose was talking face to face with God.  The beginning of intimacy between God and the biblical Moses was the burning bush incident.

Hon studied this passage vigorously in seminary.  He understood the linguistic and cultural dynamics so well that his professor marveled at his skill.  But something unexplainable happened that day, something his training couldn’t take into account.

When he read these words, “Take off your shoes, for you are standing on holy ground,” Hon could not move on.  His hands felt electrocuted by the Bible in his hands.   The words burned his mind and consciousness like an internal fire searing his chest.  He felt God speaking these words directly to him.

But he didn’t have on any shoes!  Yet he knew he was to “take off” something.

“What would I take off?”  Hon thought.

“My connection to the earth.”

“What connection to the earth is God talking about?”

“My attachment to temporal success, which, to God, is dust.”

That was it!  That’s what God wanted him to “take off,” to separate from himself.

“God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, I give up my goal of temporal success, the goal I have of being number one in my class.”

After saying this, Hon understood something, without understanding how he understood.

The most important choice you'll ever make in your life

The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”  Genesis 2:15-17

 But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." Joshua 24:15

When is the last time you acted deliberately?  When did you last think, speak, or act consciously?  Is this normal for you, or do certain circumstances force deliberateness upon you?

The most important choice you’ll ever make is to simply choose. 

Before you can choose God, you must choose to always choose. 

Live deliberately and consciously, normally.

Before Adam could choose obedience or disobedience, he had to choose which fruit he would eat.  God gave him no choice as far as the forbidden fruit went.  But he had many other trees he could “freely eat from.”  He must choose to choose.  In other words, he first must discover his ability to make choices, and then commit to always use the ability to choose.

But we walk around like zombies, mindlessly speaking and acting.  Reacting.  We don’t know what we are doing or why we are doing it.  Why?  How did we come to be such slaves in the land of the free?

It’s because we think freedom is mindlessness, or the ability to simply do whatever we feel like.  Lawlessness. We have the minds and wills of two year olds. 

But God would have us as free as He is.

Notice God noticing YOU (Part 3)

The bouncer stood above the crowd.  Watching.  Noticing.  Unnoticed.  The crowd talked, drank, danced, ate.  He watched for their safety for anyone out of the ordinary.  A man in a red baseball hat slammed his beer bottle down.  The bouncer noticed the anger in this.  Subtle but real. 

"Watch the red baseball cap,” he said on his ear radio to the bouncer on the stage. 
“Copy.” 

The atmosphere felt like a good time, like good moods were the majority at the party.  Red baseball cap left.  He couldn’t effect the atmosphere with is anger.  (If a fight is going to happen, the air thickens and feels electric.) 

He liked being in the background.  Hiding in crowds.  Thinking.  Enjoying the music.  Watching certain people who didn’t notice him watching them.  As he scanned the crowd he saw only fun, and laughter…and her.  Noticing him.  Noticing her.  He never flirted with women, whether checking IDs at the door or dealing with women on the dance floor.  But her look communicated interest, not flirtation.  She seemed genuinely nice and warmly inviting.  She smiled.  He nodded his head.  She waved.  It was official.  They connected.

For the rest of the night the crowd was  simply the crowd, blending into each other, except for her.  They now knew each other. 

God is the bouncer.  

We are the woman. 

This world is the crowd of people,

Living and ignoring God. 

He is always looking and watching. 

When we look back, God will respond.

The eyes of the LORD are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good.  Proverbs 15:3

The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.  2 Chronicles 16:9

Notice God noticing YOU (Part 2)

The music ended.  They approach each other. 

Hey.

Hello.

Do you like my dancing?

I love your dancing.

My dancing is me.

Then I love you.

I love you too.

Why do you think out of all of the women on Duval Street, you noticed me?

You danced with a longing that I’ve had all of my life, the dance that makes you my wife.

Then I’m your wife.

And I’m your husband.

Why did you notice me noticing you out of all the men on Duval who stared as you moved?

Tell me what you saw, and I’ll tell you what I felt when you saw it.

Imagine I’m in a field.  Winds blow.  Animals run and eat and express animal voices.  None of them know I am there.  Bees fly.  Squirrels climb trees.  Everything goes on around me, but takes no notice of me while I take notice of it.  Then I see her.  A doe.  Staring at me.  I at her.  She slowly approaches.  Breathless, I wait.  She reaches where I am, and I stare.  The doe extends her nose, and I reach out my hand. She stays with me. 

You are the doe, the rare moment when a beautiful creature notices another creature noticing her. 

I felt your eyes, your attention, you affection, your adoration and appreciation.  It felt warm like a blanket.  I felt the love in your eyes, as if you had never seen anyone dance before.

***

His mother woke up and noticed him cooing while looking at the shadow of leaves on the wall.  “Hi baby boy,” she said.  And for the first time, he clearly and deliberately turned his head, looked her deeply in the eyes, and smiled.  It was different from his newborn smiles (which may or may not be smiles, which may or may not be gas.)  His mother saw the look on the face of an adult that every adult knows:  the look of recognition. 

She cried. 

Before, her baby boy simply saw things happening:  Movements.  Sensations.  Indistinctions. 
She used to watch him, but he was unaware of her watching him and loving him.  Now, starting today, he knew her voice and her face and her eyes. 

He responded to her, and their relationship began. 
He was no longer a baby among many babies.
He was hers, and she was his.  And they were one.

Click HERE for part 3...

Notice God noticing YOU

He hears loud bar music from many loud bars on Duval Street.  Locals drive cars trying to pass clueless tourists who assume they own the road because they’re on vacation.  Duval is packed from its beginning to end with visitors. 

The sounds, sights, and smells are a blur…until he sees her…before she sees him.

She dances and entrances him in her sway, the way she bends time and space around her rhythm.  She reveals what God had in mind when He made Eve, and what Adam felt when she walked to him in the garden.  No seduction or temptation.  Awe and appreciation.  Then it happened.

She noticed him noticing her, and she liked it…and him.  Before she simply danced.  Now she danced for him.  He noticed her noticing him noticing her.  They connected.  The song became their song.  Out of all the men on Duval who watched her dance, she only noticed him noticing her.  All others were a blur for her as well.

***

Dark water

Hums.

Swirls and circles and until it’s just too tight.

Then blinding light and biting cold

Then faces, noises, smells, sounds, hot, cold, needle pricks on finger tips and heels

Then warmth

Thirst quenched.

The voice…the hum that was distant now close..familiar.

Many voices and noises and feelings and blurs and motions.

Then the voice.  Sleep.

Bitter thirsty hunger.  Crying.

The voice. (And sometimes the other voice.)

Sleep.

Crying.  Milk.  The voice.  (Cry for milk and the voice.)

Crying.  No milk.  No voice. 

Loud crying.  Milk.  The voice.  (Cry LOUD for milk and the voice.)  [And sometimes the other voice.]

The face.  Smiling.  With the voice.  (The other face.  Smiling.  With the other voice.)

The same face and voice give milk.  The same other face and voice feel safe.

I know these faces!

I know these voices!

I smile when I see them.

I cry when I don’t.

I know that I exist when they are in the room.

When they are gone, I feel gone.

The moment the dancer noticed her admirer admiring her, the moment she welcomed his admiration, and danced for his admiration….

The moments in which the baby knew the faces of father and mother, and responded to these faces noticing him…

This is the awareness of God’s constant awareness of us, and us welcoming his awareness, dancing for him, smiling back at him.

Notice God noticing.

This is life.

 

 

 

Enoch and Mary: The Call of Intimacy with God

Enoch walked with God; then he was not there because God took him. 
Genesis 5:24  HCSB

She had a sister named Mary, who also sat at the Lord’s feet and was listening to what He said. 
Luke 10:39

 

One man lived for one purpose:  to walk intimately with God.

One woman lived for one purpose:  to sit intimately at the Lord’s feet, listening to him.

This man and this woman pleased the Lord and are remembered for their single minded purpose.

I live for the same purpose for which they lived:  intimacy with God.
I go wherever the Spirit of Christ leads, and  when He sits, I sit at his feet and listen.

That’s it.

Until the Lord comes, He will find me doing these two things: 

1. Walking with him. 
2. Sitting with him.

Simply put:  I exist to be with Him, wherever He is.

In some ways this is easy. 
In other ways I expect adversity.

It’s easy because the Lord is the easiest person to be with. 

But even if He walks in places that are filled with those who hate Him, I am with Him.  Even if He sits where His enemies wait to trap Him in His words, again, I am with Him.  Ultimately they are against Him and not me.  If they are against me, it’s because I’m with Him.

So be it. 

It is the highest honor just to be associated with Him.  For people to take note that I am with the Lord.  For them to know and see that the Lord is with me.

Five thoughts about the MAN of Steel

I saw the movie "Man of Steel," and I thought 5 things about it:

(If you haven't seen it yet, read this after you see it.)

1.  He was manly!  Definitely, undeniable manly.  Yes, still and outcast.  Bullied.  Misunderstood.  Rejected.  But without a doubt a man.  Not just the facial hair and hairy chest.  Not just him sipping on a beer and watching football (which are NOT what I define as manly...but you feel me,)  but his attitude.  He refused to be controlled.  He seemed immovable.  Manly.

2.  He was perhaps purposely a "Christ figure."  A Savior.  This movie, and the one before it don't try to deny it.  There is  a scene where Kal-El (Superman's birth name) is in church, seeking wisdom.  A picture of Christ is strategically placed behind him.  The only thing more obvious about this, other than his outstretched arms in one scene, is the scene in the previous movie, "Superman Returns," with Superman and Lois:

Yet not only is Superman seen as a Savior in terms of saving lives, but also in transforming people into his image, as expressed in the words of Kal-El's father, Jor-El:

Jor-El:  You will give the people an ideal to strive towards. They will race behind you, they will stumble, they will fall. But in time, they will join you in the sun. In time, you will help them accomplish wonders.

3. I noticed the very obvious connection between evolutionary assumptions and amorality, or immorality, as expressed in this quote from one of Superman's villains:

Faora:  [Beating up Kal-El] You have a sense of morality and we do not. And that gives us an Evolutionary Advantage. And if there's one thing that History teaches us it's that Evolution always wins. 

Of course, she was wrong.  But the assumption of evolution could not be denied.

4.  Again, in his manliness, there was an emphasis on manliness, or what it means to be a man.  Before he became a hero, he had to decide what kind of man he would be:
  
Jonathan Kent: You're not just anyone. One day, you're going to have to make a choice. You have to decide what kind of man you want to grow up to be. Whoever that man is, good character or bad, it's going to change the world. 

Jor-El: Every person can be a force of good.

5.  Perhaps the words that impacted me most, next to the words above from Jonathan Kent and Jor-El, are these words from the priest who spoke to Kal-El when he sought guidance:
 
 "Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith first. The trust part comes later."
 

This is where I am in my life, and what I'm doing.  

I've chosen the man I will be:  

An image and likeness of Christ, 

A force of good that will change this world.

I've taken my leap of faith.

I trust Christ to catch me.

To save me.

To make me like him:

 A man of steel--A Christ like man.

A Tribute to My Father

I honor my father:  Edward Louis Howard.

I remember the day Kareem Abdul Jabar broke Wilt Chamberlain’s record.  Not because I’m into basketball, Jabar, or Chamberlain.  I remember it because I lay in bed with my dad and big brother, watching this moment in history, and listening to my dad talk.  It is one of the most precious memories I have, because it is the only memory I have of it just being me, my dad, and my big brother (who was my best friend at that time in my life.)

 

I remember simply being with my dad in whatever he did.  That was life with my dad.  Whatever he did, we did with him after work.  (He was a fireman, so he worked long hard hours.)

When he was off, if he rode bikes around Macon, Georgia, we rode with him.  When he prepared the pool as a lifeguard, we were at the pool with him, enjoying the pool all to ourselves.  (Once a little boy watched outside of the gate, and my dad let him in.) 

If my dad needed to go run laps to keep in shape as a fireman, even if it was at 2:00 AM, we were with him.  We even spent the night with him once at the fire station one time when he worked.  What son wouldn’t enjoy that?

Some of the very best memories of my life are when I was with my dad.

Just being with him.

 

A Tribute to Fathers

You won’t find him trying to chase the devil
For money, fame, for power, out of greed
You won’t ever find him where the rest go
You will find him, you’ll find him next to me

Lyrics from the song “Next to Me,” by Emeli Sande’

He plays freeze tag the day after over time in the hospital with patients yelling at him.

Then he listens to his daughter for an hour, only nodding, only understanding.

After this, he reads 10 books to his 3 year old, and the same book 10 times to his 2 year old.

He builds and plays with a train set his 10 year old got as a prize for reading 100 library books.

After an hour enjoying the train set, he goes to his bedroom and prays for strength and energy.

Five minutes later, he bathes the youngest ones, singing all the songs they learned yesterday.

At dinner, he shares with his wife and children things God showed him about faith and obedience.

After dinner, he spends time with each of his children individually, letting them choose whatever topic they want t talk about, whatever game they want to play, and whatever book they want to read.

He puts all of his children to bed with a blessing of peace, and goes to his room to pray for energy.

Hours of sleep he’s gotten in the last 48 hours:  0.

How can he do it?

He loves them.

God loves Him.

 

The Truth About Being Born Again

I sat in the bar, the only bouncer working.  During the day, only one is needed, or so the bar thinks.  I watched a waitress being a waitress.  Pretty.  Very pretty.  Should I tell her?  Compliment her?

If I did, 5 possibilities lay before me:

1.  She likes the compliment, and our relationship changes in the sense that she feels attracted to me, or wants more from me than we have at the time—a simple work relationship.

2.  She likes the compliment as a compliment.  Nothing more.  Nothing less. Nothing changes.

3.  She dislikes the compliment, for whatever reason, but nothing changes.

4.  She dislikes the compliment, for whatever reason, but something changes.  She becomes annoyed with me for thinking her pretty…for whatever reason.

5.  She feels indifferent towards the compliment, and nothing changes. 

Five possibilities from two choices:  Compliment her, or don’t compliment her.

I chose not to compliment her.

I realized this choice as perhaps the first conscious choice of my life.

In this realization, I was experiencing a kind of rebirth as a conscious being.

It reminded me of what Morpheus said to Neo after unplugging Neo from the Matrix:

Neo: Why do my eyes hurt?

Morpheus: You've never used them before.

I’d never used my will before, not like that, not with conscious awareness of two roads before me.

Really…

I’d never

been

truly

alive.

 (click HERE for part 2)