Taste and see that the
LORD is good; blessed are those who take refuge in Him.
Let’s look at your
feelings in light of real experiences.
Alright.
Did you constantly feel
as intensely about Mark as you imagine?
No. Not all the time.
How much of the time?
I don’t know…when we
were really connecting and understanding each other it was intense…
But this wasn’t all of
the time?
No. I’m sure if it was I would have married him
instead of Samuel, right?
Exactly. So why are your feelings so intense about
Mark when you remember him, or imagine a future with him?
I believe it’s because
I focus only on when we connected deeply.
I don’t focus on the fights, or all of the pain we caused each other by
being immature or selfish, or just plain not right for each other.
Do you remember
Richard?
Yes, I do.
Do you remember how you
didn’t find him very physically attractive at first?
Yeah! I actually do! I decided to focus only on what was
physically attractive about him, and to especially emphasize his personality,
which was awesome!
And by doing that, he
actually became physically attractive to you, and his personality became
intensely attractive.
That’s what I was doing
with Mark.
And what you aren’t
doing with Samuel…or Me.
But there’s nothing
negative about You! There’s nothing I
have to emphasize or look past in our relationship.
No there isn’t. So why doesn’t it feel as intense when you
think about Me, or when you’re with Me?
Because I don’t focus
all of my attention on you.
What would happen if
you did? Would it arouse you physically
so that your face is red?
Maybe, but not for the
same reasons. but i’m seeing that
arousal is not the same as…love…or deep connection even.
What do you have with Samuel
that you can never have with Mark?
Ten years of faithful
friendship…of committed marriage…of seeing each other at our best and worst.
You’re leaving
something out.
I know. I’m leaving out how intense it is when we
make love.
Why is it so intense?
Ten years of being one.
Ten years of oneness
with each other and with Me.
My feelings for you,
and for Samuel, are intense, but in a different way.
How so?
They are intense like
the sun is intense…constant, alive, energizing, comforting…at times too hot to
handle, but most of the time comfortably unnoticeable.
They're real.
Very real.