We've seen daughters look at their fathers with awe. We've seen the same with little sisters and big brothers. And we've seen women who are deeply in love. This admiration is what men want from women, as it is written:
This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:32-33
Remember earlier about creation and Creator? Man and woman, husband and wife are their picture! Here, the husband and wife are encouraged to see the mystery; and the wife is encouraged to respect her husband as the church should respect Christ. The word "respect" expresses deep awe, reverence, and admiration.
"But what if I don't genuinely admire my husband," says a discouraged woman?
At work, I overheard a woman saying something like this,
"I told him that if we are going to be in a relationship, he better not cheat on me, and he better not hit me!"
She said it like some women do when they are trying to show that they "don't take no mess from no man!" I thought about this. Why would a woman NEED to tell a man not to cheat on her or hit her? What woman wants to be with a man where this is not a GIVEN? How often does she have to "remind" him of this? In other words, if she did NOT tell him this, does she believe that he WOULD cheat on her and hit her?
How could she admire a man that she has to tell this?
So, for the woman who feels like she no longer admires her husband, I say this:
Remember who he represents, and admire him for that. We do this all the time (or we should.) There are officers or those in authority that we don't genuinely respect, but we respect their position enough to at least be courteous to them. The same is true in this situation. If you love and admire Christ, then for His sake, respect your husband as a representative of Christ. Furthermore, there must be SOMETHING you admire about your husband, even if it's just the MEMORY of admirability! You wouldn't have EVER gotten with him if you didn't admire him in the beginning. Whatever he was then, somewhere inside, he is that now.
For those women who are not yet married, who are engaged or are looking for a man to marry, know that your fiancee, or your yet unknown future husband, wants you as a best friend with whom he can be free, and that he wants you to admire him. The beautiful thing is, as of now, you have a choice of who you are going to be with. So choose wisely according to these three things.
Find someone whom you feel you can be best friends for life, someone with whom you are free to be, and whom you admire physically, soulically, and spiritually. Admire the strength and beauty of his body, the depth of his mind, the strength of his will, the passion of his emotions. Admire his faith and love and obedience to God. Admire his God given purpose and presence.
As a man, be a best friend and companion. In your eyes let this woman see the father of her children. Let her see your vulnerability, and in this let her feel free. Live such an admirable life that the awe in her eyes never ceases when she looks at you and thinks about you.
Men and women are a reflection of the love story between Creator and creation.
Don't listen to Oprah or Cosmopolitan.
Don't listen to men and women who don't listen to the Creator of all creation.
What men really want from women is what the Creator wants from all of creation.
Let us be what God made us to be, now and for all eternity, for God's honor and glory.
Amen.
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