In scripture, I find these keys to physical beauty:
1. "A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man." The Apostle Paul to the church in Corinth
I'm not dealing with the whole head covering thing right now. And Paul isn't focused on physical beauty or attractiveness like I am. But I do believe I find a principle for physical attractiveness, one that is objective to God and mankind. Here it is:
If you are a man, look like a man.
If you are a woman, look like a woman.
Please, for the love of our Creator, DO NOT MISREAD WHAT I AM SAYING!! I am NOT giving ANY standard in terms of muscles, body shape, weight, etc. I am only saying that when someone looks at you, from any angle or distance, if you are a man, the person shouldn't have to ask if that is the case. The same for a woman. Yet again, I'm not dealing with hair length, facial hair, etc. I'm talking about what we all know in terms of masculinity and femininity. There is a difference, and we all know it. No matter how tall a woman is or short a man is, no matter how big a man is or small a woman is, we know the distinction when we see it. This is what makes us attractive to SOMEBODY ON THE PLANET EARTH!!! It doesn't take more than what I'm saying!!! It doesn't take muscles on a man or a figure 8 shape for a woman. If a man or woman simply brushes their teeth and takes a bath, they can be physically attractive TO SOMEBODY!
We all know this. We've seen men and women of various sizes and shapes in relationships. We've even seen "unattractive" men with "attractive" women, and "attractive" men with "unattractive" women. Somebody finds EVERYBODY attractive. Let's be real. Why are men attracted to women, and women attracted to men? Because they are what they are! Men like women, and women like men. Men like masculinity. Women like femininity. So if it is obvious what gender you are, SOMEBODY, somewhere on EARTH, will find you attractive.
2. "You knit me together in my mother's womb and created my inmost being." King David
Here we have that attractiveness of uniqueness, spiritual and physical. There are two extremes we can go to. We can try very hard to be ourselves. (This is ironic, since we shouldn't have to try to be what we naturally are.) Or we can be so in love with who we think we are that our uniqueness is obnoxious. We excuse our obnoxiousness by saying things like, "That's just the way I am. You just have to accept me for me." In reality, we are least our true selves when we are obnoxious, because we are least like Christ, who is never obnoxious.
The key is in the principle of balance I find in scripture, expressed like this:
"Those who have much did not have too much, and those who had little did not have too little."
If a person is loud, she is not tool loud. If a person is quiet, he is not too quiet.
If he is big, he is not too big. If she is small, she is not too small.
The way to achieve this balance is in the self forgetfulness Jesus commands through self-denial, as His disciple. Those who lose their souls, or selves, for Him will gain them, but those who seek to keep their souls will lose them. In other words, all who are self centered and self exalting will in the end never be who they truly are. But all who forget themselves in loving God and people will find themselves unconsciously. We all know this. We know that we make the best impression when we are not trying to make a good impression or bad one, whereas we make the worst impression when we try our hardest to impress.
Our God given sexuality (the distinction between masculinity and femininity) as well as our God given individuality, make us naturally or effortlessly attractive. This is so because we all reflect God, who is supremely beautiful.
2. "You knit me together in my mother's womb and created my inmost being." King David
Here we have that attractiveness of uniqueness, spiritual and physical. There are two extremes we can go to. We can try very hard to be ourselves. (This is ironic, since we shouldn't have to try to be what we naturally are.) Or we can be so in love with who we think we are that our uniqueness is obnoxious. We excuse our obnoxiousness by saying things like, "That's just the way I am. You just have to accept me for me." In reality, we are least our true selves when we are obnoxious, because we are least like Christ, who is never obnoxious.
The key is in the principle of balance I find in scripture, expressed like this:
"Those who have much did not have too much, and those who had little did not have too little."
If a person is loud, she is not tool loud. If a person is quiet, he is not too quiet.
If he is big, he is not too big. If she is small, she is not too small.
The way to achieve this balance is in the self forgetfulness Jesus commands through self-denial, as His disciple. Those who lose their souls, or selves, for Him will gain them, but those who seek to keep their souls will lose them. In other words, all who are self centered and self exalting will in the end never be who they truly are. But all who forget themselves in loving God and people will find themselves unconsciously. We all know this. We know that we make the best impression when we are not trying to make a good impression or bad one, whereas we make the worst impression when we try our hardest to impress.
Our God given sexuality (the distinction between masculinity and femininity) as well as our God given individuality, make us naturally or effortlessly attractive. This is so because we all reflect God, who is supremely beautiful.
3. "The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old." Proverbs 20:29
There is an attractiveness in youth and in old age. Both should possess the beauty of maturity. This is scorned in America. The young and old alike resist maturity,as if youthfulness is synonymous with immaturity. Think of maturity physically. The body becomes attractive sexually because it has reached maturity, meaning it is self sustaining, reproducing, and life sustaining.
I believe maturity is attractive for the young and the old, that we are most attractive when we "act our age."
Thus the common theme to making ourselves truly attractive is to simply be what God made us to be at this present moment. If we are men, be "manly;" if we are women, be "womanly." Whatever we are "uniquely," this we should be without trying to be. If we are young or old, we should accept what we are at this moment for the glory of God our Creator and Definer.
When viewed from this perspective, it is easy to be attractive. God requires nothing of us that is beyond how He made us.
"But what if I'm 'overweight'?"
"What if I've already altered myself to be something God didn't make me to be?"
"What if I'm insecure and I really don't know what God made me to be?"
"What if I simply don't like my personality or body?"
It is written, "God commended His love to us in that while we were sinners, Jesus died for our sins."
In other words, the Apostle Paul makes it clear in the words above, and in his letter to the Roman Christians of his day, that God was for us even when we were against Him. So, if we are not what He intended us to be, He still loves us and will help us right now, where we are, to be what He intended, physically and spiritually.
- The first step is to admit to our Creator that we are not what He intended. This is called "repentance."
- The second step is to accept and trust that Jesus Christ is God in the flesh, and that He came and died in our place, to replace the old you and me with a new you and me. This is called being "born again." A new you comes into existence when you repent and believe in Christ.
- Finally, we live for God only, resulting in true inner and outer beauty. In other words, the new you is made in the image of God, the new spirit you receive. The old you that used to be focused on yourself died with Jesus in the past, and a new you is born. This is all by the power of God. It is spiritual and supernatural, and will manifest itself in the physical.
Second, as far as your physical appearance goes, do what ever comes naturally and effortlessly right now to exemplify your masculinity/femininity, unique individuality, and age/maturity. Again, this should not be hard or take alot of effort. It's not hard to breath or blink. These things happen naturally as a part of who and what you are. In the same way, emphasize without exaggerating your distinctness in gender, personality, and maturity.
For example, if you are a man, look at yourself in the mirror and simply accept what you see at this moment. You cannot immediately change your body, but you can be the best you can be physically. If YOU feel that you need to lose or gain weight, let it be felt intuitively by you only, meaning you don't adopt any worldview of yourself that comes from the media or any other person. Of course, you may have loved ones like family members or friends that can help you. But the simple truth of the matter is, you have ONE Creator before whom you will stand and give an account for what you did with the body He gave you. As a man, emphasize that which is manly about your body. This is a start, and is attractive as it reflects the image of God. (This principle of course applies to women and the feminine.)
Let me make clear what I do NOT mean by emphasis of attractiveness without exaggerations. I do not mean these words for those who ALREADY feel as though they are as God intended. In other words, if a man is "muscular" and satisfied with his body, he doesn't have to wear tight shirts or NO shirt to "show off." And if a woman is "voluptuous" she doesn't need to wear tight, skimpy, revealing clothes. "If you've got it, flaunt it," is NOT a maxim of God's kingdom. This is not how we should make ourselves attractive. Remember, "man looks at the outer appearance, God looks at the heart." If there is anything we should "show off," it is a Christlike heart of humility and love for God and others. This is how children of God beautify themselves: not by clothing and jewelry and hairstyles, or things that emphasize the physical and temporal, but by inner qualities of beauty that will last eternally.
I mean these words about the emphasis of attractiveness for those who feel like they are not as they should be physically as of this moment. In C.S. Lewis' "The Problem of Pain," he says, "
“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world”
Let's use Lewis' words as a standard for those who don't feel physically attractive. It is an internal intuitive standard given by God, not by me or society or some celebrity. I can't emphasize this enough. This is how YOU feel about yourself, and has nothing to do with anyone else. You have one Creator.
Lewis speaks of God speaking through pleasure, conscience, and pain. Apply these to how you see your body. Do you feel an intuitive sense of pleasure with how you look? Do you approve? Is your conscience clear about how much you weigh, or do YOU feel like you weigh too much or too little? Does your physical state cause you pain, meaning you weigh so much that it is hurting your heart to beat or hurting you to move freely? Do you weigh so little that you have almost no energy for basic mobility?
Again, you are an internal standard for yourself, given by God in your creation. For example, I am naturally "small framed," meaning no matter how much I eat, I'm only going to gain so much weight. Some are naturally "large framed," meaning they can only lose so much weight. This is by God's design, and it is good. If we look at the animal kingdom, some animals are large and some small. An elephant isn't supposed to be lean like a cheetah, and vice versa Their beauty is in their size differences, and it shouldn't be any other way. Think of yourself like this, according to the standards of pleasure, conscience, and pain, if you don't feel you are what God made you to be physically right now. And know that EVEN NOW, physically, beauty remains in your masculinity or femininity, your individuality, and your maturity. FOR NOW, emphasize (without exaggerating) these areas. Until you are where you supposed to be physically, bring God glory, to the best of your ability, with your body. After this emphasis, ask our Creator to give you wisdom as to how to make your body as He intended it to be. GO TO HIM ONLY. Not to society or some celebrity UNLESS society or a celebrity is saying EXACTLY what God is saying to you intuitively!
As far as attractive personality, just focus on honesty! It is really that easy! Your goal is not uniqueness, but genuineness. If you are genuine, you will stumble upon uniqueness, and attractiveness. The key is to realize that God made you, inside and out, and what He made is "very good!"
And as far as your age, if you are young, don't try to be "old," or older. If you are "old," don' t try to be young or younger. Be whatever age you are right now! But most especially, strive for maturity. However old you are, be as mature as you are supposed to be at that age. If you have gray hair, KEEP IT GRAY!! Contrary to popular belief, the word of God calls this a glorious trait for the aged. If you are young, then enjoy your youthful energy, as much of it as you have right now! Move as much as you can right now, as best as you can.
The word of God says that God's commands are not burdensome, meaning oppressive or too difficult. God's will is described as "good, acceptable, and perfect." It is God's will for men to be His glory and women to be the glory of His glory. In this is no difficulty. If you find difficulty in simply being what God made you to be, then you are trying to be something or someone that you are not. It should be as easy to be who God made you to be as it is to breathe.
Measure yourself by the standard of Christ Jesus Himself, AND NO OTHER STANDARD. You were made to be conformed to His image and likeness, and NO ONE ELSE'S! Don't copy anybody, celebrity or non celebrity, UNLESS HE OR SHE SEEMS TO BE A PICTURE OF CHRIST LIKENESS.
I pray this encourages you. That you feel how much God loves you. How much I love you in writing all of this, because I am writing this for you. YOU. The one who is reading. I love you!
"But you don't even know me?!"
If you were out and about, and a mother with a little baby were near you, and the baby said, "I love you," wouldn't you respond "I love you too?" Would you mean it? Why? The baby doesn't know you. Or maybe she does! Maybe he sees what God made you to be, and loves you quite simply. So accept that from me.
May you be what God made you to be, spiritually, physically, attractively.
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