Yet what is the standard by which we measure true attraction?
I believe it must start with the Creator's view of His creation.
In the beginning, after God finished making everything, He looked at it and declared it was "very good." So the very first standard by which we measure whether we are attractive or not is whether we are exactly as our Creator intended us to be. Do we match the picture He had in mind when He "knit us together in our mother's womb and created our inmost being," as David said?
Well what is that picture exactly?
Christ conformity!
We were made to be in God's image, according to His likeness, which means we were "predestined to be conformed to the likeness of Christ," as the scriptures say.
This applies to those who are seeking marriage, as well as those who want to remain attractive to their spouses in marriage. It applies to those who are single and plan to remain single. Attractiveness in these writings simply means being what God made us to be, expressing His glory and beauty, spiritually and physically.
So we must begin by seeing ourselves, and everyone else, as God sees us.
Listen to God's own words concerning His own perspective:
The Lord said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king.”
But Samuel said, “How can I go? Saul will hear about it and kill me.”
The Lord said, “Take a heifer with you and say, ‘I have come to sacrifice to the Lord.’ Invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what to do. You are to anoint for me the one I indicate.”
Samuel did what the Lord said. When he arrived at Bethlehem, the elders of the town trembled when they met him. They asked, “Do you come in peace?”
Samuel replied, “Yes, in peace; I have come to sacrifice to the Lord. Consecrate yourselves and come to the sacrifice with me.” Then he consecrated Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice.
When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, “Surely the Lord’s anointed stands here before the Lord.”
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:1-7
Samuel was clearly impressed with Eliab's physical appearance, but God was not. Now David was described as being physically attractive. There are several men and women in scripture who are described as good looking. But God gives us insight into His view of us. It is very powerful to me that God says He "does not look at the things man looks at."
We look at appearance, height, weight, shape, beauty, sexual desirability. But God does not look a these things. God rejected Eliab! How terrible is that!!?? Whose rejection is worse than the rejection of God? (Now I'm sure this was not a total rejection. It seems as if it were only a rejection of Eliab as God' chosen king.)
So the first step to being truly attractive is to be attractive to God. And the way to be attractive to Him is to make our hearts beautiful in His eyes. How do we do that?
First, we realize that we can do that. Jesus compared the heart to a tree and our words to the fruit on the tree. He said we can know the heart by what comes out of it, that is, by what we say and do. Most beautifully, Jesus said, "Make the tree good and the fruit will be good." He made it clear that a good tree cannot bear bad fruit and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.
God looks at our hearts, and not our outer appearance. We can make our hearts good (attractive to God) or bad (unattractive to God.) It is up to us whether we are attractive to God, and thus truly attractive, or if we are unattractive to God, and thus truly unattractive. In other words, if we are voted by People Magazine as "The Most Beautiful Man/Woman On Earth" but God rejects us, then are we really beautiful?
God also said, "He who honors me, I will honor. But He who despises me shall be lightly esteemed." If we set our hearts on honoring God, God will see this in our hearts, and thus He Himself will honor us. He will highly esteem us, and find us attractive. And again, if God finds us attractive, we will be truly attractive.
Finally, King Solomon, the wisest man to ever live, second to Christ alone, said these words:
Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Proverbs 3:3-4
Now this is interesting to me, because Solomon shows us the way to favor with God and people. In other words, to be truly attractive is to be objectively attractive. This means that any SANE person who knows you would see you as attractive. If God finds you attractive, then it would be INSANE for any mere human to find you unattractive.
But we all know this to be true. What God finds attractive is genuinely attractive. Who isn't attracted to love and faithfulness? Who isn't attracted to a person who lives to honor God alone? The only ones who find this unattractive are those who are evil! And insane!
Some of you may be thinking, "This is all well and good, Olatunde. But how can I also be GOOD LOOKING?? COMELY EVEN!??"
Click here to find out.
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