How much attention should a woman get? (Part 3)

The third category of women is the discriminate woman, the one whose "vibes" are very specific and focused.  If she is married, she is giving off a very intensely specific transmission to ONE KIND OF MAN.  So only that kind of man would pick up on it.  Think of vibrations like radio station transmissions.  The adulterous woman is like both an Am and FM station.  She wants ALL ears, EVERY channel.  The indiscriminate woman may be an AM dial, or a FM dial. She is very general, and may or may not be an adulteress.  But the discriminate vibe is ONE channel ONLY.  

If this woman is unmarried and wants to be married, then her vibe will be transmitted ONLY to men who want to be married.  If she is an unmarried Christian who wants to be married, then it will ONLY be to Christian men who want to be married.  If she is a very mature Christian, it will ONLY be to MATURE Christian men who want to be married.  These women generally go unnoticed because they ONLY want to be noticed by a specific man.  The married woman also saves her transmissions for only her husband.  Her dedication to God and her husband gives her discretion in all of her relations.  She neither craves, desires, or strives for general attention.

Now we come to how all three types of women lead us to the answer to our question.

1. The adulterous woman in category one wants EVERY man's attention.  She wants to be the center of his gaze in a way that only God should be; and she wants to captivate him in a way that only his wife should captivate him.  She transmits a general vibration to all men. 
2. The indiscriminate woman also transmits a general vibration, but perhaps with different intentions.  Either she simply intends to communicate availability (indiscriminately), or she is willing to have any and every man, married or unmarried.   
3. The discriminate woman gives one transmission:  to her present husband or future husband.

So, the answer to our question is this:  A woman should not get EVERY man's attention.  (Or every woman's attention for that matter.)  Only God should have every human's attention, and even He does not get it.  A woman should have the attention of her Creator as a member of creation, from creation as a fellow creation, and of her husband in complete singular devotion.  These scriptures perfectly sum up my thoughts:


Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. I Timothy 5:1-2

Here Paul gives Timothy a complete break down of all human relationships!  

Now it seems that I need to give a clarification.  When I asked about attention in relationship to women, I was really focused on the attention of sexual attraction.  Not just this attention, but ESPECIALLY this attention, because as I said, our culture primarily tempts women to seek the attention of physical sexual attraction, with a focus and emphasis on physical beauty.

So, when we look at Paul's words, we can easily see how to gauge how much attention to give and receive, whether we are men or women.  If you are woman, think of your father or brothers, older or younger.  If you have a good relationship with your father and brothers, this may be easier to imagine.  What kind of attention do you want from your father or brothers in relationship to your physical beauty?  I know the kind of attention you DO NOT WANT:  SEXUAL ATTRACTION! It is an abomination for a father to be sexually attracted to his daughter, and likewise a brother for his sister.  Now this gives us an exceedingly high standard in male and female relationships, telling what kind of attention and how much we should give and receive.  As a man, I should view all older women AS I WOULD MY MOTHER, unless my wife just so happens to be an older woman; then she would be the ONLY older woman for whom I should experience sexual attraction.  Every younger woman should be viewed as I view my very own little sister, WITH "ABSOLUTE PURITY" as Paul said.  As I think of my little sister, I know exactly what Paul means.  I remember my little sister in diapers, and a specific picture of her in diapers.  Now she is a grown woman; attractive; she even has a "nice body," (though it hurt my fingers to even type those words about her!)  She's my sister!  So I'm not sexually attracted to her and won't look at her like that, even though she has...a..."nice body."  (Allow me time to recover.....)

Alright. Do you see what I'm saying?  Only one man, a husband, should see a woman as sexually attractive, which means a woman should have vibration discrimination, very specific sexual transmission.  And likewise for a man with a woman.  

We choose our impressions.  We come across exactly as we intend to.  Think of it like this.  You see two women with skin tight shirts on.  One has the word "hottie" on the front of the shirt, conveniently over her bulging breasts.  The other has no word. Her shirt is fluorescent yellow though.  Now, what do you imagine is the emphasis of these two women?  How do you imagine they want to come across?

Now some may object and say, "Maybe they just liked the shirts."  Perhaps.  But why do they like those shirts?  "Maybe they like feeling 'comfy and cozy,' and tight shirts give them a sense of security, like an all day 'hug.'"  Maybe.  BUT I DOUBT IT!  AND SO DO YOU!

We make the impressions we want to make.  We control our impressions.  Maybe these two girls are just trying to "be in style."  If so, then that's how they come across...and the style just so happens to be "sexy" or "hottie."  (By the way, the one without "hottie" on her shirt may be communicating the very same thing, subtly.)

At any rate, BOTH are attracting more attention then they should get.  Would they dress like this on a date with their father or brothers?  Maybe.  And could a father say, "Wow sweetie, your breast are really sexy!?"  That sounds suspect now doesn't it?  Technically, he could acknowledge his daughter's beauty and sexuality, but we all know he shouldn't look at her to sexually DESIRE her, even if she is desirable.  The same with her brothers.  

Some will argue that God made the beauty of sexuality and it can be viewed artistically, like with naked bodies in art.  Maybe.  But I seriously doubt that I should look at naked artistic photos of my father, mother, and sisters.  Perhaps other men could look at them WITHOUT IMAGINING HAVING SEX WITH THEM.  And that is indeed my point:  Only one person should see you and me sexually--our wives or husbands.  God's view of sex is sacred and singular.  Yet we seek be sexy in general...to men and women in general...when marriage is not a general relationship.

In conclusion:

We are members of creation.  The first person that knew of our existence was God, who "knitted us together in" the secret place of our "mother's womb and created our inmost beings," as scripture says.  Think hard about this.  Before our father or mother knew we were conceived, before our mothers missed a period or took a pregnancy test, God knew our mothers were pregnant.  He saw us before anyone else did.  So the first person we should seek attention from is our Creator.

Next, we can seek the attention of older men as fathers, older women as mothers, younger men as brothers, and younger women as sisters in absolute purity.  Our husbands and wives ONLY should see us sexually.

If we want more attention than this, then we want what is not ours to have.

May we each receive AND BE SATISFIED WITH the attention God intends to give us.  

As a married man, do I need any other woman to find me sexually attractive?  Should I seek the attraction and attention of other women?  Of course not.  If my wife finds me desirable, then I am desirable indeed.  And if she fails to express desire for me, then I should go to God about this, AND STILL MAINTAIN FAITHFULNESS, "for better or for worse, for rich or for poor..."

May we no longer be greedy and needy.  May we seek only the attention God has given.