My time with Jesus at the park (Part 3)

Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed are those who take refuge in Him.

Let’s look at your feelings in light of real experiences.

Alright.

Did you constantly feel as intensely about Mark as you imagine?

No.  Not all the time.

How much of the time?

I don’t know…when we were really connecting and understanding each other it was intense…

But this wasn’t all of the time?

No.  I’m sure if it was I would have married him instead of Samuel, right?

Exactly.  So why are your feelings so intense about Mark when you remember him, or imagine a future with him?

I believe it’s because I focus only on when we connected deeply.  I don’t focus on the fights, or all of the pain we caused each other by being immature or selfish, or just plain not right for each other. 

Do you remember Richard?

Yes, I do.

Do you remember how you didn’t find him very physically attractive at first?

 

Yeah!  I actually do!  I decided to focus only on what was physically attractive about him, and to especially emphasize his personality, which was awesome!

And by doing that, he actually became physically attractive to you, and his personality became intensely attractive. 

That’s what I was doing with Mark.

And what you aren’t doing with Samuel…or Me.

But there’s nothing negative about You!  There’s nothing I have to emphasize or look past in our relationship.

No there isn’t.  So why doesn’t it feel as intense when you think about Me, or when you’re with Me?

Because I don’t focus all of my attention on you.

What would happen if you did?  Would it arouse you physically so that your face is red? 

Maybe, but not for the same reasons.  but i’m seeing that arousal is not the same as…love…or deep connection even.

What do you have with Samuel that you can never have with Mark?

Ten years of faithful friendship…of committed marriage…of seeing each other at our best and worst.

You’re leaving something out.

I know.  I’m leaving out how intense it is when we make love.

Why is it so intense?

Ten years of being one.

Ten years of oneness with each other and with Me.

My feelings for you, and for Samuel, are intense, but in a different way.

How so?

They are intense like the sun is intense…constant, alive, energizing, comforting…at times too hot to handle, but most of the time comfortably unnoticeable.

They're real.

Very real.